If you don't love yourself, you can't love anybody else. And I

Hear the words of Jennifer Lopez, artist and woman of resilience, who declared: “If you don't love yourself, you can't love anybody else. And I think as women we really forget that.” These words are simple, yet they carry the weight of ages, for they speak of the foundation upon which all true love must rest. They remind us that love is not born only in giving to others, but first in the recognition of one’s own worth. Without that, love becomes shadow, sacrifice without joy, devotion without strength.

The origin of this truth lies in the struggle women have faced for centuries. Taught to serve, to sacrifice, to please, many have been conditioned to place the needs of others above their own. Wives, mothers, daughters—too often praised for endurance while their own desires were dismissed. Lopez, speaking from her own journey through fame, heartbreak, and self-discovery, named the danger of forgetting: when women neglect their own self-love, they risk losing the strength that makes their love for others real and enduring.

Consider, O listener, the story of Eleanor Roosevelt. For years she lived in the shadow of her husband’s political career, her own voice quieted by duty and expectation. But when she embraced her own power, her worth, and her calling, she became one of the most influential women of the twentieth century—an advocate for human rights, justice, and peace. Her transformation reveals Lopez’s truth: by learning to love herself, Eleanor found the strength to love humanity more fully. Self-love is not selfishness—it is the wellspring from which love for others flows.

There is also a warning in these words. To love without first loving oneself is to risk love that is distorted—love that clings, that fears, that demands without giving freely. How many relationships crumble because one partner seeks in another the worth they have not found in themselves? How many women, as Lopez laments, forget their own value, pouring themselves out until nothing remains? The absence of self-love turns love into dependency, into longing for validation rather than a true union of equals.

Yet when self-love is present, love for others becomes radiant. It is no longer a grasping hand, but an open one; no longer a desperate plea, but a steady flame. A woman who knows her worth can love without losing herself. She can give without resentment, sacrifice without bitterness, endure without being diminished. In this way, Lopez’s words are not only personal—they are profoundly empowering, a call for women to reclaim what has too long been denied.

O seeker, the lesson is clear: to love yourself is not vanity, but necessity. It is the recognition that you are made in strength and dignity, that your worth is not lesser than any you love. Only when you see yourself with compassion can you offer true compassion to others. Only when you honor your own soul can you honor another’s. This is not arrogance; it is balance, the harmony of giving and receiving that sustains all lasting love.

And what actions must we take? Begin each day with gratitude for your own being. Speak not words of self-contempt, but words of affirmation. Care for your body as a temple, your mind as a treasure, your spirit as sacred fire. When the world demands you give until you are empty, remember Lopez’s teaching: you cannot love another if you have abandoned yourself. Build your self-love not as a fortress, but as a fountain from which others may drink.

Thus remember: “If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anybody else.” Let these words echo across generations, teaching daughters and sons alike that true love begins within. For the heart that loves itself becomes unafraid, unbroken, and unshaken—and from such a heart flows a love that heals, that uplifts, and that endures forever.