If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't

"If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like." These words, spoken by William Feather, reflect a deep and often unspoken truth about the nature of kindness and the human condition. Feather, with his sharp understanding of human nature, highlights the paradox that lies at the heart of generosity and goodwill. Kindness, that most noble of virtues, can sometimes be a double-edged sword—a quality that draws others to you, but not always those whose presence is to your benefit. While kindness may open the heart to love, it also opens the door to those who may seek to take advantage of your good nature or offer little in return.

In the ancient world, the concept of kindness was revered by great thinkers. The Greeks, in particular, spoke of the importance of philanthropy, which literally means "love of mankind." Aristotle considered kindness to be a moral virtue, one that helped to cultivate friendships and build communities. Yet, even in this golden age of thought, there was a recognition of the risk involved in being too generous. The wise among them knew that to be kind without discernment could lead to being surrounded by those who would exploit one’s goodwill. Thus, they advocated not just for kindness, but for wisdom in its application.

Consider the life of Socrates, who was known for his kindness, humility, and commitment to the pursuit of truth. He spent his days engaging with the people of Athens, encouraging them to question and reflect on their beliefs. However, as his fame grew, so did the number of people who sought his attention, many of whom were more interested in using him for their own advancement than in engaging in genuine philosophical dialogue. Despite his kindness, Socrates found himself surrounded by those who did not truly seek wisdom but rather sought to manipulate his good nature for their own ends. Socrates is a powerful reminder that even the kindest among us can attract those whose intentions are not aligned with our own.

In more recent times, the life of Mahatma Gandhi provides another example of this paradox. Gandhi, a man whose entire life was dedicated to non-violence and compassion, attracted countless followers who revered him. But he also attracted detractors and opportunists—people who sought to attach themselves to his cause for personal gain or to exploit his reputation for political or social advancement. Though Gandhi's kindness and commitment to peaceful resistance ultimately brought great change, he too found himself surrounded by individuals who were not always aligned with the pure intentions of his work.

The truth that Feather speaks of is something we all must confront in our own lives. Kindness, when extended without discernment, can lead to a situation where we find ourselves surrounded by individuals who do not necessarily have our best interests at heart. This does not mean we should stop being kind, but rather that we must learn the delicate art of balancing generosity with discernment. We must be wise enough to recognize that while kindness attracts, it does not always attract those who will uplift us or support us in our journey. Instead, it is important to choose wisely who we allow into our lives and whom we share our kindness with.

There is, however, a deeper lesson in Feather's statement. The very fact that kindness attracts individuals of all kinds—including those we do not like—suggests that kindness is not about receiving but about the pure expression of who we are. The true measure of kindness lies in its ability to be given freely, without expectation of return or validation. Just as Mother Teresa dedicated her life to the care of the poor and the sick, often surrounded by those who did not fully understand her work or her mission, we too must practice kindness as a reflection of our values, not as a tool for personal gain or for attracting only those we deem worthy.

In our own lives, let us remember the wisdom passed down by the ancients and by those who have lived with compassion at the heart of their work. Kindness, like any great virtue, must be practiced with a sense of awareness and boundaries. We can be kind to all, but we must also have the wisdom to recognize when our kindness is being taken for granted or misused. Let us give without expectation, but let us also choose carefully those with whom we surround ourselves. The lesson here is clear: the true value of kindness lies not in how it is received, but in the integrity with which we offer it.

May we, like the great philosophers and leaders of the past, cultivate kindness in our hearts, knowing that it will inevitably draw people to us—both good and bad. And may we have the discernment to navigate the relationships we form, protecting our energy and maintaining our integrity, while continuing to give freely of our compassion.