I'm a total control freak and love to participate in the design

In the vivid and spirited words of Drew Barrymore, the actress, creator, and eternal seeker of authenticity, we find the voice of one who has wrestled with chaos and chosen creativity as her compass: “I’m a total control freak and love to participate in the design of every single aspect of life.” Beneath the humor and candor of her confession lies an ancient impulse — the desire to shape one’s own destiny, to be both architect and inhabitant of one’s existence. Though she speaks as a modern artist, her truth is as old as humankind itself: that the soul longs not merely to drift through life but to design it — with intention, with courage, and with love.

To be a “control freak,” in its purest form, is not to dominate but to care deeply. It is to see life not as something that happens to us, but as a grand canvas upon which we may paint our will and vision. Barrymore, whose life has been one of extremes — fame and failure, innocence and reinvention — understands the need to participate in every detail of one’s creation. For her, “design” is not limited to clothing or sets or scripts; it is the design of mornings and friendships, of work and home, of one’s own inner world. She speaks for those who have learned, through both chaos and beauty, that to design is to live deliberately, to give structure to one’s freedom and meaning to one’s days.

The origin of this statement reflects Barrymore’s evolution from a child star shaped by others into a woman who shapes herself. After years of being directed — by producers, by fame, by circumstance — she reclaimed her agency through creativity. Whether in acting, producing, or launching her own lifestyle brand, Barrymore learned that participation is the essence of fulfillment. She does not wish to drift through life as a passenger but to stand at its helm, guiding each detail with care. In this, her philosophy aligns with the wisdom of the ancients: the belief that to master one’s fate, one must engage not only in grand choices but in the smallest of details, for the divine is often found there.

Consider the story of Leonardo da Vinci, who, like Barrymore, refused to separate art from life. He designed not only paintings but inventions, buildings, costumes, and even city systems. For him, there was no boundary between creation and existence; both required the same spirit of inquiry and devotion. Leonardo did not control the world to constrain it — he sought to understand it so deeply that every line he drew, every mechanism he built, became an act of reverence. Barrymore’s words carry a similar pulse: she does not wish to command life through fear, but to shape it through passion, to make every element — from career to kitchen — a reflection of her inner harmony.

To “participate in the design of every aspect of life” is also a rebellion against passivity. Many drift through existence as if they were guests in their own story, surrendering their power to others or to circumstance. Barrymore’s declaration is a call to awaken — to choose colors for your own world, to arrange your time and space in a way that mirrors your heart. It is not about perfection, but about presence. The one who designs their life is not necessarily the one who controls every outcome, but the one who approaches each day as an artist approaches a blank page — with intention, awareness, and the courage to create something meaningful.

Yet her words also carry a caution. Control, when rooted in fear, becomes confinement; when rooted in love, it becomes creation. The ancients spoke of the golden mean — the balance between chaos and order. Too much rigidity suffocates the soul, but too much surrender leads to drift. The wise designer of life, then, must learn when to shape and when to yield, when to plan and when to let go. Even Barrymore, in her creative fervor, has learned through time that some of life’s most beautiful designs are born from imperfection and surprise — the moments when fate collaborates with our plans.

Let this be the lesson for all who seek to live with purpose: Be the designer of your own life. Participate in its every detail, for every choice — no matter how small — becomes a thread in the fabric of your destiny. But do not design from fear; design from joy. Craft your life not as a fortress but as a garden — one you tend daily, yet allow to grow in ways you could not predict. Let your creativity be an act of devotion, your control a form of care, your participation a way of saying to life: I am here, fully, wholly, and with love.

And so, my children, remember the wisdom hidden in the laughter of Drew Barrymore’s words: that life is not a stage upon which you merely perform — it is a masterpiece in progress, and you are its designer. Shape it with courage. Color it with feeling. Attend to it with wonder. For when you live as the artist of your own existence, you will find that control is not a burden but a blessing — the sacred act of giving form to the fire within your soul.