I'm not a parent, but it seems to me the nature of parenting is

The words of Stacey D’Erasmo shine with humility and insight: “I’m not a parent, but it seems to me the nature of parenting is contingent, full of unexpected challenges – which is one of the wonderful and amazing things about it.” In these words, the speaker acknowledges an ancient truth: that the path of parenting cannot be charted like the course of the stars, for it is shaped instead by storms, surprises, and mysteries. It is a road filled with both peril and wonder, where each step brings forth the unknown.

Since the dawn of humankind, the raising of children has never followed a single pattern. The ancients knew this, for they watched their sons and daughters grow with both joy and trembling, unsure of what trials or triumphs the gods would set before them. Parenting is contingent, D’Erasmo reminds us—its nature is bound not to certainty, but to change. A parent may dream one path, but life will carve another. A child may be strong in body, yet frail in spirit, or quick in mind yet slow to speak. Each difference calls forth a challenge unforeseen, and in facing it, the parent learns as much as the child.

History gives us countless examples of such unexpected trials. Consider Helen Keller, struck blind and deaf in infancy. Her parents despaired, unable to imagine how she could grow into the fullness of life. Yet in that darkness arose the figure of Anne Sullivan, her teacher and guide, who unlocked Helen’s brilliance through patience and fierce determination. This was not the path any parent could have predicted, yet from the challenge was born a marvel—a woman whose courage and intellect inspired generations. In this way, D’Erasmo speaks truly: the unexpected challenges of parenting are often the soil from which greatness blooms.

The ancients often likened parenting to sailing. One sets forth with hope, with provisions, with dreams of safe harbors. But the seas are not tame, and storms arise where calm once was. The skill of the parent lies not in controlling the wind, but in steering through it, learning to tack, to endure, to trust that even chaos can lead to new shores. And just as sailors return from storms with deeper strength, so too do parents emerge from trials with wisdom and humility they could never have gained on calm seas.

Yet in D’Erasmo’s words there is not only acknowledgment of difficulty, but also awe. She calls this unpredictability “wonderful and amazing,” for it is in the unplanned moments that love reveals its truest form. The laughter that comes after tears, the pride that bursts forth when a child surprises even their parent, the lessons children unknowingly teach those who raise them—these are gifts that cannot be scripted. They are wonders born only from the mysterious dance of life itself.

The lesson, then, is clear: do not seek to master parenting as though it were a craft with fixed rules. Instead, embrace it as a journey of discovery. The unexpected is not your enemy but your teacher. It calls you to grow in patience, creativity, and resilience. And in facing each challenge with love, you reveal to your child that the world, though uncertain, is survivable, even beautiful.

Practically, this means cultivating flexibility. Hold dreams for your children, but hold them lightly. When plans are broken, search for new ways rather than clinging to what cannot be. Celebrate small victories, for they are often the seeds of great ones. And above all, approach each day with humility, knowing that even if you are the guide, you are also the learner.

Thus let Stacey D’Erasmo’s words be remembered: parenting is not the art of control, but the art of adaptation, not the pursuit of perfection, but the embrace of wonder. Its very unpredictability is what makes it sacred, for in each challenge lies the chance to witness life unfolding in its most mysterious and marvelous form. And in this, both parent and child are transformed together.