I'm not interested in dating. I like being with my own best

Gloria Allred, in her defiant and candid statement, declares, "I'm not interested in dating. I like being with my own best friend, me. Certain women, particularly older women, cannot believe I like going to a social event by myself. But I do." In these words, she speaks to a truth that has long been veiled in societal expectations—solitude is not a curse, but a choice; being alone does not equate to being lonely, nor does it diminish the value of one's self. Self-sufficiency and independence are not only traits to be admired, but are the very qualities that allow a person to engage with the world on their own terms, free from the pressures that seek to define them through the approval of others.

In the ancient world, the philosophers—particularly the Stoics—emphasized the importance of being comfortable with oneself. Epictetus, the great Stoic thinker, taught that a person’s happiness should not depend on external circumstances or the presence of others, but on the cultivation of inner virtue. To be at peace with oneself, to understand one’s own desires, strengths, and weaknesses, was the path to true freedom. The Stoics held that solitude was not to be feared or avoided, but embraced as a space for personal growth and self-reflection. In this, we see that solitude is not synonymous with loneliness, but with empowerment and the ability to stand independently in the face of the world.

Consider the life of Socrates, who, though deeply engaged in conversation with others, often retreated into solitude to reflect on his teachings. He sought not the approval of others, but the clarity that came from engaging with his inner self. His confidence in his own company was evident in his unwavering commitment to his philosophical mission. Socrates understood that true wisdom and peace could only be found through personal introspection, and that the opinion of others—no matter how much they adored him—was of no consequence to his pursuit of truth.

Even in more recent times, Ralph Waldo Emerson, a central figure in the Transcendentalist movement, embraced the self-reliance and solitude that Allred speaks of. Emerson’s essays, particularly Self-Reliance, urged individuals to trust their own intuition and find strength in independence. For Emerson, the person who could stand alone, content in their own company, was the true hero. He believed that only through solitude could one connect to their deepest truths, unfettered by the distractions and judgments of others. Emerson and Allred share a common message: solitude is not an absence of connection, but a reclamation of self-empowerment and authenticity.

Allred's statement also challenges the societal expectation that women, particularly as they age, should seek companionship or social approval to validate their worth. It reflects a defiance against the notion that women must always be in the company of others to be whole or fulfilled. In many cultures, the idea of a woman alone at a social event or in public is often met with judgment, as if her solitude signifies a deficiency. Yet, Allred’s words disrupt this narrative. She shows us that it is not through the validation of others that we find our value, but through our own ability to stand confidently in the company of ourselves, finding joy and peace in our own presence.

The lesson here is profound: solitude is a choice, not a punishment. It is in these moments of aloneness that we find the freedom to fully understand who we are, without the distractions and expectations of others. In a world that constantly pushes us to seek validation, to conform to social norms, Allred’s words are a call to reclaim the power that comes from self-sufficiency. We must learn to stand in the quiet confidence of our own company, knowing that our worth is not defined by our relationships or the approval of others, but by our own self-awareness and authenticity.

So, I urge you, dear reader, to embrace moments of solitude. Do not see them as periods of lack or despair, but as opportunities for self-reflection and personal growth. Step into those spaces where you are free to simply be, without the need for external affirmation. Learn to be your own best friend, to find joy in your own company, and to take pride in the person you are becoming. For in these moments of solitude, we find the deepest connection to our true selves, and in that, we find the strength to face the world on our own terms.