In giving us children, God places us in a position of both

“In giving us children, God places us in a position of both leadership and service. He calls us to give up our lives for someone else’s sake—to abandon our own desires and put our child’s interests first. Yet, according to His perfect design, it is through this selflessness that we can become truly fulfilled.” – Charles Stanley

There are few callings upon the human soul as sacred and transformative as parenthood. In these words, Charles Stanley unveils a mystery as old as creation itself — that in serving, we lead; and in sacrifice, we find the purest joy. To be entrusted with a child is to hold in one’s hands not merely flesh and blood, but the unfolding of destiny. It is both a burden and a blessing, a divine invitation to step into the twin roles of leader and servant, where authority is tempered by love, and love is proven through service.

To lead a child is not to command, but to guide — to walk before them as a light walks before the dawn, showing the way, not by decree, but by example. And yet, to serve a child is to kneel in humility, tending to their needs before our own, to awaken before dawn and labor past sunset, to surrender rest so that another may dream. The parent, in this divine order, becomes a living bridge between heaven and earth, embodying the holy paradox: that power is perfected in selflessness, and greatness is found in surrender.

Consider the story of Susanna Wesley, the mother of John and Charles Wesley, founders of the Methodist movement. She bore nineteen children, though only ten survived to adulthood. Her life was one of poverty, struggle, and loss. Yet in her humble home, by the flicker of a single candle, she taught her children the Scriptures, disciplined their hearts, and nurtured their spirits with unwavering faith. She gave up her own comfort, her own leisure, her own dreams — but through that giving, she raised sons who would set the world ablaze with revival. Her greatness was not measured in crowns or titles, but in the souls she shaped. Her service became her legacy, her sacrifice became her song.

In Stanley’s words lies an echo of divine truth: when God calls a parent to love a child, He calls them to die to self, that love might live. It is not a death of sorrow, but of transformation — the death of selfish ambition, of fleeting desires, of the restless pursuit of one’s own will. For in the giving up, the heart grows vast; in the emptying, it is filled. A parent who learns to put the child’s well-being above their own steps closer to the image of the Creator, who Himself gives endlessly. Thus, in the sacred rhythm of parenting, we learn the heart of God — a heart that leads through love and serves through sacrifice.

But do not think that this calling is without cost. To love so deeply is to expose oneself to pain, patience, and perseverance. A child may stray, a heart may ache, and yet the parent remains steadfast — for true leadership is not swayed by ease, nor is true service abandoned when met with hardship. In the furnace of such trials, character is refined, and fulfillment is born not of fleeting pleasure, but of purpose. It is through the continual act of giving — giving time, guidance, forgiveness — that the soul of the parent is ennobled.

Thus, the lesson for all who would hear is this: Fulfillment is not found in the pursuit of self, but in the pouring out of self. The parent’s path mirrors the Creator’s own — to give, to protect, to nurture, to love beyond reason. Whether you have children of your body or children of your care — students, disciples, or those whom life has placed under your influence — take up this sacred mantle. Lead with humility. Serve with devotion. Love without expectation.

In the end, when the years have passed and the children have gone forth into the world, you will look back not upon the things you achieved for yourself, but upon the lives you shaped and the love you gave. For in giving your life to others, you will have truly found yourself. And that, as Charles Stanley so wisely revealed, is the perfect design of the Divine — that through selflessness, we come to know the fullness of what it means to live, to lead, and to love.