In society, we have to earn other things of import like trust

When Grace Gealey spoke the words, “In society, we have to earn other things of import like trust, respect, money, education, careers, status and etc., so naturally, we find ourselves attempting to earn love, acceptance and validation along with that. Here's the trip: we do it at the cost of other people and, more importantly, ourselves,” she pierced through the illusions of our age and revealed a truth both piercing and eternal. Her words remind us that while many treasures of the world must be earned, there are some—the greatest of all—that lose their purity when treated as commodities.

In her wisdom, she begins by naming the things the world demands we earn: trust, respect, money, education, careers, status. These are the currencies of society, and indeed, they are necessary for survival and recognition. They are not freely given, but won by effort, by labor, by persistence. Yet herein lies the danger: when we train our hearts to think of all things as wages for toil, we begin to believe even love, acceptance, and validation must be purchased, performed, or proven. We forget that these, unlike status or coin, are sacred gifts—meant to be shared, not bartered.

The tragedy she names is that in this pursuit, we wound not only others, but also ourselves. To demand love as though it were a prize for performance is to turn relationships into competitions, and to sacrifice one’s own soul upon the altar of approval. In striving to be worthy of what should be freely given, we erode the very essence of self, forgetting that true worth cannot be measured by applause or by wealth. This is the bitter fruit of mistaking the laws of the market for the laws of the heart.

History bears witness to this. Recall the tale of King Midas, who longed so desperately for wealth that he asked the gods for the golden touch. At first, he rejoiced, believing he had won the greatest prize. But when even his food, his water, and his daughter turned to lifeless gold, he realized he had bartered life itself for an illusion. In the same way, when we seek to “earn” love as we do wealth or titles, we turn what is living and tender into something cold, rigid, and lifeless. Love, once treated as currency, ceases to nourish.

And yet, Gealey’s words are not only a warning but also a call to freedom. They invite us to remember that love, acceptance, and validation are not things to be earned, but truths to be lived. They are the natural birthright of every soul, and the greatest act of courage is to claim them without performance, and to give them without condition. When we cease to chase validation, we find that we are already enough. When we cease to demand love, we discover that love flows more freely than we ever imagined.

The lesson for us is clear: be vigilant in distinguishing between what must be earned and what must be received freely. Let trust, respect, and skill be earned by diligence, but let love be given and received without price. Guard against the temptation to measure your worth by the standards of others, for in doing so you risk losing the treasure of your own soul.

Practical wisdom follows: examine your life and ask—where have you been trying to earn what should be freely given? Where have you demanded proof of love or offered yourself only in exchange for validation? Release yourself from these chains. Practice self-acceptance, so that when others love you, it is not for your performance but for your being. Offer love to others without condition, so that they, too, may be free. In this way, we break the cycle of transaction and rediscover the sacredness of relationship.

Thus, Grace Gealey’s words shine as both warning and beacon. Do not sell your soul for validation. Do not mistake love for a wage. Live instead in the knowledge that you are worthy, that others are worthy, and that the highest treasures of the heart are never earned but given, and in giving, multiply. In this way, we preserve both others and ourselves, and walk the path of true freedom.