In the end, the real wisdom of menopause may be in questioning

Hear the words of Sandra Tsing Loh, who spoke not only of a season in a woman’s life, but of a season in the soul itself: “In the end, the real wisdom of menopause may be in questioning how fun or even sane this chore wheel called modern life actually is.” These words shine like a torch in the twilight of middle age, not lamenting change, but transforming it into revelation. For Loh reminds us that what many see as decline may in fact be the birth of a new clarity, a deeper sight that strips away illusion and demands truth.

For menopause, long spoken of in whispers, is not merely the ending of cycles, but the beginning of freedom. It is the breaking of chains that tied a body to rhythms not of its own choosing. In this passage, Loh sees not weakness, but strength—the strength to finally look upon the patterns of modern life and ask: Are these labors truly worth my spirit? The chore wheel, the endless turning of work, obligation, and expectation, is revealed for what it is: often a prison disguised as duty.

To question this wheel is an act of courage. For society whispers that to stop, to ask, to rebel against routine is madness. Yet true wisdom is found in asking whether the very structure of life is sane. The ancients too knew this. When Diogenes, the philosopher, cast away wealth and chose to live in simplicity, the world mocked him as mad. But he saw clearly what others would not: that much of what men called necessity was but vanity. Loh, in her reflection, echoes this same spirit: that perhaps what is called “normal life” is not life at all, but a wheel that grinds the soul.

History gives us a living example in the story of Queen Christina of Sweden. She was crowned young, trained in power, wealth, and expectation. But as years passed, she looked upon the endless cycle of court and duty and declared it madness. In an act of shocking defiance, she abdicated her throne, choosing instead the life of a seeker and wanderer. Like Loh’s vision, her story shows that the greatest freedom comes not from enduring the wheel, but from stepping off it.

The real wisdom of menopause, then, is not in the loss of youth but in the gain of vision. It is the moment when illusions fall away, when the demand to please others gives way to the courage to live authentically. It is not simply a shift in the body, but a liberation of the spirit. The fire that once burned in cycles of creation now burns in cycles of truth, asking: How shall I live the remainder of my days in joy, not bondage?

The lesson is clear: do not wait until life has passed you by to ask whether your chore wheel is worth the turning. In every stage, question what is demanded of you. Ask whether the labors you carry are truly yours, or chains fastened by custom, culture, or fear. Do not be afraid to call madness what is madness, even if the world calls it order. True wisdom lies in seeing that not every burden is sacred, and not every duty is just.

In practice, this means: pause often, reflect deeply, and choose your labors with courage. Step off the wheel when it no longer serves you. Embrace simplicity when complexity crushes you. Find joy not in the endless grind of expectation, but in the freedom of authenticity. For life is too precious to be consumed by duties that devour the soul.

So let Loh’s words echo like prophecy: menopause is not decline, but awakening. It is the season when the wheel of illusion can be broken, when life can be re-chosen, when joy can be reclaimed. And though her words speak of women, their wisdom belongs to all: question the wheel, seek your freedom, and live not by compulsion, but by truth.