In the past I would self destruct when it came to love - I was
In the past I would self destruct when it came to love - I was immature, throwing myself into things but now times have changed, I want a relationship where you understand the other person.
The actress Elisabetta Canalis once reflected with candor and humility: “In the past I would self destruct when it came to love—I was immature, throwing myself into things. But now times have changed, I want a relationship where you understand the other person.” In these words lies the confession of one who has walked through fire, erred in passion, and emerged with wisdom. The journey of love is not merely joy, but often a battlefield where the heart must first be wounded before it learns how to heal.
She speaks of self-destruction, the common fate of those who rush blindly into affection without patience or discernment. The immature spirit confuses intensity with depth, passion with permanence, and so it burns itself out like a flame denied its fuel. In such haste, the heart forgets to honor itself, and what should have been union becomes chaos. These errors are not shameful, but they are costly, for they teach through pain what wisdom could not reveal in peace.
But with the passing of time, growth emerges. Canalis declares that “times have changed,” and in these words we hear the ancient truth: suffering is a stern teacher, but it molds the reckless into the wise. No longer seeking love that consumes, she longs for a relationship grounded not in frenzy but in mutual understanding. This is the mark of maturity—to know that love is not only about self-expression, but about listening, patience, and compassion for the other.
The ancients, too, told of this progression. Youth leaps like a firebrand, consuming itself in its own blaze, while maturity learns to tend the flame so it endures through the night. To understand the other person is the highest art of love, for it requires humility, sacrifice, and the recognition that love is not merely about what one feels, but about what one gives.
So let this wisdom endure: reckless passion may dazzle, but it does not last. Seek instead the relationship founded upon understanding, where two souls see each other fully and walk in balance. For in such love lies not destruction, but life; not immaturity, but strength; not fleeting passion, but a flame that endures.
NQChi Nguyen Quynh
It’s insightful that Canalis reflects on her past behavior and acknowledges how love has changed for her. It makes me think—how often do we rush into relationships because we're searching for something we think we lack? With maturity, we start understanding that a healthy relationship is not about passion alone but about learning to communicate and appreciate the other person’s perspective. How do we cultivate this understanding without losing ourselves in the process?
QTCAO QUOC THINH
Canalis’s shift in perspective makes me think about how relationships evolve over time. Early on, many of us are focused on the thrill and emotions, but as we grow, the need for understanding becomes paramount. But does this deeper understanding sometimes lead to complacency? Can too much focus on mutual understanding make a relationship feel too safe, and in turn, less exciting? What’s the balance between comfort and passion in a mature relationship?
TAHuynh Ngoc Tram Anh
It’s refreshing to hear Canalis speak about maturity in relationships. Understanding someone else takes work and empathy, something that often comes with experience. But I also wonder, can this kind of understanding be achieved too soon? Could jumping into a deeper, more mature relationship before you're ready actually hinder growth? How do we know when we're truly ready for that kind of partnership, and when it's just the desire for stability driving the decision?
MTnguyen mai trang
Canalis’s statement about moving from immaturity to a desire for a deeper, more understanding relationship is something many can relate to. But how do you balance this shift when you're still navigating the desire for love and intimacy? Do we lose some of the initial excitement in love as we grow older, or does it evolve into something more meaningful and grounded? Is the deeper understanding always worth giving up some of the spontaneity?
HGHan Gia
I love that Canalis acknowledges her growth and self-awareness. It’s so easy to be impulsive in relationships, especially when we don't fully understand ourselves or the other person. But does the need for understanding come with a certain level of patience and communication? How do you develop that level of understanding with someone, especially if you've never had it before? Is it something that can be learned, or does it come naturally over time?