It is impossible to preserve my friendship with people who are

"It is impossible to preserve my friendship with people who are allegedly leaders when they are attacking their own people, shooting at them, using tanks and other forms of heavy weaponry." These words, spoken by Recep Tayyip Erdogan, echo a profound truth about the very nature of leadership and friendship. Leadership, when rooted in justice and compassion, should always be about the protection and uplifting of the people it serves. When those in power turn their weapons—not toward external threats, but toward their own people—they violate the very essence of the trust and bond that should exist between a leader and their followers. In this quote, Erdogan captures the moral and spiritual dilemma faced by anyone who values friendship over political expediency and violence.

In the ancient world, the relationship between a leader and their people was viewed not as one of dominance and coercion, but as one of trust and responsibility. Plato wrote in his works that a just ruler is one who seeks the good of the people, a leader who governs with wisdom and virtue. The tyrant, on the other hand, rules with force, using violence as a means of maintaining power and control. In Plato’s Republic, the tyrant is depicted as someone who betrays the very principles of leadership, breaking the sacred bond between ruler and ruled. In this way, a true leader does not harm their people, nor does a true friend stand by in silence when they witness injustice. Erdogan’s words call us to recognize that when violence is used against the people, the relationship between leader and people is irrevocably damaged, and friendship cannot survive under such oppression.

Consider the story of Cyrus the Great, the founder of the Persian Empire, who, according to Xenophon, was known for his wisdom and compassion in leadership. Cyrus was celebrated not only for his military conquests but for his just rule and benevolent treatment of conquered peoples. Rather than oppress, he sought to integrate and protect, believing that a leader’s true strength lies in their ability to uplift their people, not destroy them. In this way, Cyrus exemplified the ancient ideal that leadership is about nurturing and guiding those entrusted to you. Friendship in this context was not a personal matter but a collective one—one where the bond between ruler and people was founded on mutual respect and shared responsibility.

In contrast, consider the tragic tale of Tiberius Gracchus, a Roman tribune whose efforts to reform the land distribution laws were met with violent opposition by the ruling elite. His own friendship with the people was tested by his relentless pursuit of justice, yet the elite—those who held power and influence—responded with force and destruction. Tiberius ultimately met a violent end at the hands of his enemies, who felt their control threatened by his reforms. In this moment, we see the dangerous consequences when a leader turns to violence against their own people rather than seeking reconciliation and justice. Tiberius’ story reminds us that true leadership and friendship cannot thrive in a climate of fear and repression.

Erdogan’s statement is a call for clarity and integrity in leadership. Friendship between leaders and their people cannot exist in an environment where violence is wielded as a tool of control. The essence of leadership is about guiding, listening, and serving, not dominating. When a leader turns against their own people, they sever the bond of trust and respect that is the foundation of all true leadership. Friendship, in this sense, is not just a personal relationship—it is a political act, a reflection of the leader’s duty to protect, to care, and to govern in the best interest of those they lead.

The lesson here is clear: leadership founded on violence is not leadership at all. It is the betrayal of trust, the breakdown of community, and the destruction of friendship. In our own lives, we must strive to cultivate leadership that is grounded in compassion, respect, and the willingness to confront the difficult truths that challenge us. As individuals and citizens, we must recognize that true friendship—whether between leaders and people, or among nations—cannot flourish where there is violence, oppression, and fear. We must demand leadership that seeks to build, to uplift, and to serve rather than destroy.

Let us, then, be mindful of the relationships we cultivate, whether in our personal lives or within the broader community. Let us challenge leaders who act out of fear or self-interest, and demand those who lead with integrity, compassion, and a deep sense of justice. And as we navigate the complexities of our world, may we always remember that friendship—true friendship—is about mutual care, trust, and a commitment to uplifting each other. It is through these bonds that we build a stronger, more compassionate society, one where violence and oppression have no place, and where freedom, peace, and justice reign.