It was a long time in the making, my divorce. One day became less

Hear now the lament of Ricki Lake, who gave voice to the silent tragedy of many hearts: “It was a long time in the making, my divorce. One day became less special than the next, and pretty soon, we ceased all conversation. It is a sad day when you have nothing left to say.” Though spoken in grief, these words are as a torch illuminating the ruins of love. They are not merely the confession of one woman, but the tale of countless unions that begin in fire and end in ashes, where silence becomes the tomb of what once lived in passion.

The heart of the matter lies in the slow erosion described: “One day became less special than the next.” Here we see the truth of relationships: they do not collapse in a single storm, but decay little by little, like stone worn down by time’s unceasing river. The sparkle of shared moments, once sacred and radiant, fades into monotony when not tended with care. What is marriage or partnership, if not a garden? Neglect the garden, and weeds of indifference rise; fail to water it, and the flowers of joy wither. Thus, love dies not in violence alone, but often in the quiet suffocation of neglect.

The most grievous wound, however, is revealed in the phrase: “We ceased all conversation.” For when words are silenced, souls drift apart. Conversation is the lifeblood of union, the golden bridge that carries thoughts, hopes, and sorrows from one heart to another. When that bridge collapses, each soul becomes an island, estranged though dwelling side by side. It is indeed, as Lake declares, a sad day when you have nothing left to say, for that day marks not just the end of speech, but the death of intimacy itself.

History, ever the stern teacher, shows us that empires fall not only to invasion, but to silence within. Think of the Roman Republic, where citizens once engaged in fiery debate, shaping the destiny of a people. When voices grew silent, when citizens no longer spoke but only yielded to the will of emperors, the republic itself decayed. So too in marriage: when dialogue ceases, the union of equals becomes a shadow of its former glory, until collapse is inevitable. Silence, whether in a state or a home, is the herald of decline.

Yet, let us not despair. For the teaching here is not only of sorrow but of warning and renewal. If silence is death, then conversation is life. To speak is to bind hearts anew; to listen is to water the roots of affection. Love must be tended as one tends a sacred flame—fed daily with words, with laughter, with the courage to share both wounds and dreams. The wisdom of this lament urges us: do not wait until the silence grows, but speak while the heart is warm.

Consider the tale of Eleanor Roosevelt, who with her husband Franklin endured a marriage not without storms. Yet through hardship, illness, and even betrayal, she spoke, she wrote, she engaged. Their union, though imperfect, endured because conversation—whether of conflict or of care—was never abandoned. From her life we learn this truth: words, even when hard, keep the bridge between souls alive. Silence, though easier in the moment, erodes the bond until nothing remains.

Therefore, O listener, let this wisdom be etched upon your heart: cherish thy beloved not only with gifts or gestures, but with words. Each day, make at least one moment sacred, where you speak from the soul and listen with the whole of your being. Do not fear disagreement, for even quarrels can be bridges if they lead back to understanding. Fear only the creeping silence, for that is the true destroyer of love.

Thus, remember Ricki Lake’s lament not as mere sorrow, but as a guiding star. Divorce may come when days lose their sacredness and when voices fall still, but union may endure when each day is made special, and when conversation flows like a living river between two souls. Let your life and love be marked not by silence, but by words spoken with tenderness, honesty, and courage. For as long as two hearts have something left to say, there is hope, and where there is hope, love yet lives.