It's good to have a free space to laugh and cry and get angry

Hear, O child of truth, the words of Nicole Maines, who declared with clarity of heart and depth of spirit: “It's good to have a free space to laugh and cry and get angry about gender and sexuality. That's one of the things I am the most thankful for from my friends and my family. They've given me the place to freely have gender be a part of our discourse.” This utterance is not a passing reflection, but a proclamation of the sacred gift of freedom—the freedom to speak, to feel, and to exist fully in one’s own truth without fear.

The origin of these words lies in Maines’s own journey as a transgender woman, whose path was marked by both hardship and resilience. In a world that often silences, mocks, or fears what it does not understand, she found in her friends and family a sanctuary. It was not wealth, nor fame, nor power that she raised her voice to praise, but the simple, profound gift of a space where laughter, tears, anger, and questions could all be welcomed without judgment. This is gratitude not for what is given materially, but for what is given spiritually: acceptance, dialogue, and belonging.

This truth has been known since the days of old. Consider the gatherings of the Stoic philosophers, who in the stoa of Athens would meet not to conquer lands but to conquer silence and ignorance. There, men and women alike could wrestle with the questions of justice, virtue, and the self. Their discourse was a sacred act, a means of creating wisdom from vulnerability. So too, Nicole Maines honors the discourse around gender and sexuality, for without the freedom to speak, the soul remains caged. To give someone space to voice their truth is to give them life itself.

Her gratitude also reveals the profound importance of community. For what is the worth of laughter if it must be stifled? What is the weight of tears if they must be hidden? What is the use of righteous anger if it must burn in silence? It is in the presence of trusted companions, in the shelter of family who listen, that these emotions become not burdens but bridges, leading to understanding and growth. By giving thanks for this space, Maines teaches us that freedom of expression is not an indulgence but a necessity of the soul.

The lesson here is profound: seek to create such spaces in your own life and for others. Do not demand silence where there should be speech. Do not close the door where there should be dialogue. For when we allow those we love to bring their whole selves to the table—to laugh, to cry, to wrestle with anger—we affirm their humanity. And in doing so, we also free ourselves, for honesty is the foundation of true relationships.

Therefore, O listener, practice this wisdom. If you have been granted such a space, cherish it with gratitude, as Nicole Maines does. If you have not, resolve to create it for others. Be the friend who listens without judgment, the parent who welcomes questions without fear, the companion who does not silence but encourages. For the gift of discourse is not only for those who speak, but for all who wish to live in truth and in love.

So let the words of Nicole Maines endure: “They've given me the place to freely have gender be a part of our discourse.” In them lies the eternal reminder that freedom begins in the heart, but it blossoms in community. Carry this truth into your days, and you will find that in creating and cherishing such spaces, you become a builder of harmony, a guardian of authenticity, and a bearer of the blessings of gratitude.