It's so easy as a teen to feel like everybody is having this

Hearken, O children of the ages, to the solemn wisdom of Becky Albertalli, who speaks of the alienation and isolation that often visits the hearts of youth. She observes that in the crucible of adolescence, it is all too common to feel that everyone else participates in the sacred rites of normalcy, while one remains stranded on the outside. This feeling, though ancient in its recurrence, is profound: it shapes the consciousness, the self-perception, and the courage of the young, leaving impressions that echo across the years.

Since the dawn of human communities, youth have wrestled with the tension between belonging and difference. In the courts of kings, in the villages of early civilizations, adolescents confronted rites, games, and social hierarchies that seemed effortless for their peers yet forbidding to themselves. The experience Albertalli describes is universal: to witness the world of companionship, shared joy, and ritual, while perceiving oneself as apart, is both a trial and an opportunity, a test of resilience that molds the soul.

Consider the story of Anne Frank, whose youth was shadowed by fear, persecution, and confinement. Though she observed the ordinary lives of other children only through the windows of memory and imagination, her isolation did not diminish her spirit. Instead, it deepened her empathy, honed her reflection, and transformed her pen into a beacon for generations. Albertalli’s words echo this truth: the outsider may feel apart, yet in that separation lies the seed of extraordinary understanding and insight.

This feeling of being on the outside often heightens the adolescent’s perception of self and others. It sharpens awareness of nuance, sensitivity to emotion, and the capacity for introspection. Teenagers who endure these moments are learning an ancient lesson: to inhabit one’s solitude without despair, to observe without cynicism, and to recognize that apparent exclusion is often a veil that hides universal human experience.

Albertalli’s insight also carries a gentle reassurance: the experience of alienation is both temporary and transformative. The perception that “everybody else is having a normal experience” is a mirage, a distortion of perspective common in adolescence. As youth mature, they discover that each heart wrestles with private fears, insecurities, and longing. Understanding this truth allows one to cultivate empathy, both for oneself and for others who struggle invisibly with their own sense of apartness.

Practical guidance flows from this reflection. Teens must be encouraged to seek out communities, friendships, and creative outlets where they can share their inner lives. Writing, art, music, and dialogue offer avenues to transform the pain of isolation into expression and connection. Likewise, mentors, parents, and educators must honor the subjective experience of the young, validating their feelings and guiding them toward safe spaces of belonging and understanding.

The lesson extends beyond adolescence: every generation experiences moments of alienation, when one feels peripheral to the sacred rhythms of life. To endure such moments with courage, reflection, and empathy is to cultivate wisdom and emotional resilience. The outsider, when nurtured and guided, may become a visionary, a creator, and a bearer of insight that those fully immersed in conformity may never achieve.

Therefore, take action: honor your own feelings of apartness, seek connection through authentic expression, and extend compassion to others who feel on the outside. By transforming alienation into understanding, isolation into creativity, and solitude into insight, you heed the eternal teaching of Becky Albertalli: that even in the moments of seeming exclusion, the human spirit may discover strength, empathy, and the path toward enduring belonging.