I've found a letter that was written to me from a girl who was

Hear now the tender words of Nancy Reagan, wife of a president yet speaking not of politics but of the mysteries of the heart: “I've found a letter that was written to me from a girl who was getting married. And she wanted to know the secret of a happy marriage. I said—and I wrote back and said something to the effect that I couldn't—I had no magic formula. And I never sat down and thought about it, but everything just fell into place with Ronnie and me.” These words, humble and unadorned, carry within them the wisdom of a life shared, the recognition that love, for all our striving to explain it, often defies formulas and unfolds in its own mysterious harmony.

The meaning of her words is simple yet profound. When asked for the secret of a happy marriage, Nancy confessed that she had none. There was no recipe, no rule, no step-by-step guide she could hand to another. Instead, she acknowledged that her joy with Ronald Reagan was not crafted from calculation, but from something deeper—an alignment of hearts, a shared devotion, a love that “just fell into place.” This admission, far from being a lack of wisdom, is itself wisdom: the recognition that love is not mastered, but received as a gift.

The origin of such wisdom lies in her life with Ronald Reagan, a marriage that endured decades of trials—political battles, public scrutiny, and the frailties of illness—yet remained steadfast. Nancy became not only his partner in private life, but also his most trusted confidant in the public sphere. Their love became legendary, not for grand declarations, but for its constancy. And when she was asked to distill this into a formula, she realized there was none: for what they had was born not of rules but of profound companionship, faithfulness, and trust.

History, too, gives us mirrors of this truth. Consider the marriage of Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning, poets whose union was forged in secrecy and defiance of Elizabeth’s controlling father. They had no formula either—only an abiding devotion that overcame opposition and bore fruit in art and companionship. Like Nancy and Ronald Reagan, they discovered that happiness in marriage is not guaranteed by circumstances, nor by calculation, but by the mysterious convergence of two souls who are willing to walk together in loyalty and love.

Yet Nancy’s words also contain a lesson in humility. Too often, we seek formulas for success in love, as though marriage were a puzzle to be solved or a machine to be engineered. But she reminds us that each marriage is unique, and that part of its mystery lies in the unplanned, the unexpected, the way lives intertwine naturally when love is true. The absence of a formula does not mean the absence of effort—it means that effort is guided not by rigid rules, but by the daily choice to honor, to support, and to cherish.

The lesson, therefore, is this: seek not a secret formula, but a steadfast heart. Marriage is less about the discovery of a hidden key than about the daily practice of kindness, patience, and devotion. Do not expect that love will always “fall into place” without trials; but when it does, as it did for Nancy and Ronald, receive it with gratitude, and let it sustain you through all storms. Recognize that each union has its own path, its own rhythm, its own grace.

So, children of tomorrow, remember Nancy’s words. If you marry, do not search endlessly for the formula others may try to sell you. Instead, cultivate faithfulness, honesty, and joy. Let your love grow naturally, without forcing it into molds that do not fit. And should you find that your life with another “falls into place,” rejoice in it, for you have found a treasure beyond price. For in the end, the secret of a happy marriage is not a secret at all—it is the mystery of love itself, given freely, lived daily, and cherished always.