Launching a kid into college is about more than having the money

Hearken, O children of generations yet to come, and attend to the words of Rachel Simmons, whose voice illuminates the hidden burdens and triumphs of parental care: “Launching a kid into college is about more than having the money to pay for it. Parents invest so much of their time and identities in the process that it can feel like a part time job. For many parents, the college your child ends up attending becomes a parenting grade.” In these words lies a profound truth: that parenting extends far beyond provision, encompassing devotion, guidance, and the shaping of character, with every milestone reflecting the effort and care invested over years.

The origin of this reflection rests in Simmons’ observations of contemporary family life, where the act of sending a child to higher education carries weight far beyond finances. She perceives the emotional, temporal, and identity-laden investment of parents, recognizing that the pursuit of opportunity, guidance through challenges, and moral support constitute an intricate labor, akin to a vocation in its own right. The choice of college becomes a mirror, reflecting both the dedication of the parent and the unfolding potential of the child.

The meaning of her words is both practical and profound. Parenting is an act of sustained effort and sacrifice, and the milestones of children’s lives—their academic achievements, admissions, and successes—are interpreted as markers of parental devotion. Simmons reminds us that the work of parenting is measured not in currency alone, but in time, attention, guidance, and the shaping of values. The college a child attends may symbolize the culmination of these labors, yet it is neither the sum nor the totality of parental success.

Consider the historical example of John Adams and John Quincy Adams, whose parents invested immense energy in education and guidance. Their efforts to shape character, instill discipline, and provide moral and intellectual scaffolding were measured by achievements in scholarship and public service. For Adams, the path of the child became a reflection of the parent’s labor, devotion, and teaching. Simmons’ insight resonates in this enduring pattern: milestones in education are both a result of parental care and a lens through which parents perceive their own impact.

Yet Simmons’ reflection carries a caution: the conflation of parental effort with external markers—such as prestige or rankings—can distort perspective. To equate success solely with a child’s destination risks overshadowing the intrinsic growth, resilience, and values cultivated through years of guidance. Parenting is a sacred labor that cannot be wholly measured by achievement alone; it is sustained by presence, guidance, love, and ethical instruction.

The lesson for future generations is radiant: invest in the child’s growth with patience, insight, and care, but do not bind your sense of worth to external accolades. Value the journey, the teaching, the support, and the cultivation of character above rankings, prestige, or superficial evaluation. Recognize that the process of guiding a child is as significant as any milestone, and that true success resides in the wisdom, resilience, and virtue that the young inherit.

In practical life, one may follow Simmons’ counsel by balancing involvement with perspective. Guide children through applications, advice, and moral support, yet honor their autonomy and individuality. Celebrate milestones without conflating them with personal achievement. Observe, mentor, and nurture the whole child, cultivating curiosity, ethics, and resilience alongside academic opportunity.

Thus, O children of future ages, carry this teaching as both lantern and compass: the labor of parenting is measured in time, devotion, and care, not merely in financial provision or external validation. Honor the journey, invest in growth, and recognize that the shaping of character is the enduring legacy that outlasts rankings, prestige, or fleeting achievement. In this, the work of the parent endures across generations, reflected in virtue, wisdom, and the flourishing of the young.