Leadership must be likeable, affable, cordial, and above all

The words of Vicente del Bosque resound with the calm wisdom of a man who has stood at the summit of triumph and the depths of trial: “Leadership must be likeable, affable, cordial, and above all emotional. The fashion of authoritarian leadership is gone. Football is about life. You can’t be angry all day.” In this truth he declares the passing of an old order—the era of iron-fisted rulers who led through fear—and the dawning of a gentler yet no less powerful way. Leadership, he says, must now flow from humanity, from warmth, from the heart as much as from the mind.

What does it mean to be likeable, affable, cordial? It is not weakness, as some may think, but strength clothed in kindness. A leader who inspires affection rather than fear builds bonds that cannot be broken by the first storm. Fear commands obedience for a time, but affection creates loyalty that endures. A smile, a listening ear, a word spoken with gentleness—these win more victories than a thousand angry shouts. Del Bosque, who guided Spain to the heights of World Cup glory, knew that unity is born not in terror, but in trust.

He speaks also of being emotional. In a world that often glorifies coldness as strength, Del Bosque reminds us that the heart is the wellspring of true connection. To be emotional is to show one’s players—or one’s people—that their struggles are seen, their joys are shared, their humanity is honored. Leadership is not the mask of indifference, but the courage to reveal one’s own soul, to let others know they are not alone. In this, a leader does not stand above his people but among them, as one who feels as they feel, suffers as they suffer, rejoices as they rejoice.

History gives us its testimony. Think of Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome. Though he commanded vast legions, his greatness lay not in tyranny but in philosophy, humility, and calm. He ruled with reason, but also with compassion, recording in his Meditations that anger is the mark of the weak, not the strong. Centuries later, Del Bosque’s words echo this ancient wisdom: you cannot be angry all day, for anger corrodes both the leader and the led, while patience and warmth sustain them.

Del Bosque also declares, “Football is about life.” This is no idle metaphor. The field is a mirror of existence: teamwork, discipline, joy, disappointment, and struggle. If leadership in football must be rooted in kindness and emotion, so too must leadership in life. For whether one leads a nation, a family, a business, or a team, the principles remain the same. Life itself is not sustained by constant wrath, but by balance, by compassion, by the willingness to forgive and to encourage.

The meaning of his words is also prophetic: “The fashion of authoritarian leadership is gone.” The old way, where leaders ruled with iron fists and silenced all dissent, is fading, for the world has grown weary of chains. Modern generations seek leaders who listen, who care, who walk with them rather than above them. The leader of today must be not a tyrant but a servant, not a thunderbolt but a guiding light. To cling to authoritarianism is to cling to decay; to embrace affability and emotion is to step into the new dawn of leadership.

The lesson for us is profound: if you would lead, lead with your heart as well as your mind. Do not mistake anger for power, nor harshness for authority. Instead, cultivate warmth, patience, and empathy. Whether in the workplace, in the home, or in the smallest circles of friendship, embody cordial leadership—the kind that uplifts rather than crushes. Show emotion, for in it lies authenticity. Show kindness, for in it lies loyalty. Show humility, for in it lies strength.

Therefore, O listener, remember the teaching of Del Bosque: leadership is not rage, but relationship; not fear, but fellowship. Football is life, and life is not meant to be lived in anger. If you carry this truth into your days, you will not only lead others—you will inspire them to greatness. And when they look back, they will not remember how loudly you commanded, but how deeply you cared. That is the legacy of true leadership.