Living alone makes it harder to find someone to blame.

Mason Cooley once remarked, "Living alone makes it harder to find someone to blame." In this succinct statement, Cooley unearths a profound truth about human nature: when we are isolated, we are forced to confront our own responsibilities, and the search for others to blame grows more difficult. To live alone is not merely to be without company, but to be without the crutch of others' actions to lean upon when things go awry. In solitude, the mind turns inward, and the individual must reckon with the truth of their own choices, their own faults, and their own fate.

Throughout the ages, mankind has sought to externalize the causes of their suffering. The ancient Greeks, with their pantheon of gods, believed that the gods were responsible for the misfortunes of men. Likewise, many modern thinkers and societies have constructed blame upon institutions, neighbors, or chance. But solitude, by its very nature, strips away these external scapegoats. It compels the individual to look within and face the uncomfortable truth: much of what we experience is shaped by our own hands. This is the power of being alone—it holds up a mirror to our actions, and in that reflection, we find no one else to point a finger at but ourselves.

Consider the life of Diogenes, the ancient philosopher who lived in a barrel on the streets of Athens. Diogenes, though surrounded by society, chose a life of solitude, rejecting the comforts and dependencies that the world offered. In his austere existence, he was forced to reckon with his own desires, his own choices, and his own thoughts. There was no one else to blame for his condition but himself. Yet, in this self-reliance, he found freedom—the freedom to act according to his own principles without the interference of others. The absence of blame was his liberation. For he had no one to hold accountable but the self, and in that truth, he found a kind of peace that the world outside could not offer.

There is wisdom in this. Throughout history, there are countless stories of those who have lived alone, untethered by the expectations of others, and yet found themselves empowered by the responsibility of their own existence. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, spent much of his life in contemplation, often retreating from the distractions of court life. In his solitude, he wrote the Meditations—a personal account of his struggles with himself, his desires, and his challenges. There was no one to blame for his internal battles; he understood that his true enemy was not the world outside but the forces within him—his impulses, his fears, and his weaknesses.

In a more modern context, we see the same principle at play. When living alone, there is no one to shift responsibility onto. If we fail, the failure is ours. If we succeed, the credit is also ours. In this, we see the dual nature of solitude: it is both a test and a reward. It is a challenge because it forces us to look inward and take ownership of our lives. Yet, it is a reward because, in the absence of blame, there is room for growth. We are no longer bound by the actions of others, but free to carve our own path without the weight of external judgment.

The lesson here is profound. In a world filled with distractions, with others who demand our attention and affection, it is easy to deflect responsibility for our struggles. But in solitude, we are left with only ourselves. The question then becomes: what do we do with that? Do we succumb to despair, blaming ourselves for every misstep? Or do we rise above the temptation to point fingers and embrace the challenge of growth, knowing that we alone are the masters of our fate? The true strength lies not in blaming others, but in taking responsibility for our actions and understanding that, in doing so, we hold the power to change.

So, I say to you, seek moments of solitude in your life. Step away from the noise, the distractions, and the temptations of external blame. When you find yourself alone, do not fear the absence of others. Instead, use it as an opportunity to reflect on your actions, your choices, and your path. Understand that living alone does not make you weaker, but stronger, for it is in solitude that you find your true self. Take responsibility for your life, and in doing so, you will no longer be a victim of circumstances or others' actions. You will be free to forge your own destiny.