Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." These words from Antoine de Saint-Exupery hold the deepest wisdom about the nature of love, a force not meant to trap or confine, but to inspire, uplift, and carry two souls forward on a shared journey. Love, as Saint-Exupery suggests, is not about endless admiration of one another, nor is it about the fleeting joy of being enraptured by another's gaze. No, true love is found when two hearts, bound by affection, turn their gaze outward—toward a common goal, a shared vision, a united purpose.

Consider the tale of Hercules and his mighty labors. Though Hercules was a man of great strength, he was not alone in his tasks. He had the aid of many friends, including Iolaus, who, though not the strongest of men, shared in the vision of Hercules' mission. Together, they did not look inward, at their individual struggles, but outward toward the goal—to achieve the impossible, to fight the monsters, and to restore honor to their lands. Love between them was not simply the admiration each felt for the other's prowess, but the shared commitment to the task at hand, the vision of what they could accomplish together. Their love was in their mutual purpose, and it was through this shared direction that their bond was truly tested and strengthened.

Think also of the relationship between Marie and Pierre Curie, whose love was not only founded on mutual respect and affection but on their shared pursuit of knowledge. Their union was a partnership in the truest sense, each of them looking outward together toward a common purpose: to uncover the mysteries of science and, in doing so, change the world. Their love was not stagnant; it was active, propelling them both toward discoveries that neither could have made alone. Marie Curie’s love for science was not only an intellectual pursuit but a partnership with her husband—a shared direction that led them through their struggles and triumphs. It was in looking outward, in sharing a vision, that their love became a force more powerful than any solitary pursuit could be.

In the annals of history, we also find the story of Abraham Lincoln and his beloved wife, Mary Todd Lincoln. Though their marriage was fraught with personal trials, they were united by a singular vision—the abolition of slavery and the preservation of the Union. Abraham and Mary’s love was not based on the romantic gaze shared in idle moments, but on the mutual commitment to a cause greater than themselves. As the weight of the Civil War bore down upon them, their bond was tested by loss, sacrifice, and political turmoil. Yet, they continued to look outward, together, toward the goal of freedom and justice for all. Love, in this sense, was not about gazing at each other, but about gazing together toward a shared mission, a shared vision of what the world could be.

Saint-Exupery's words remind us that love is not about isolation or self-absorption. It is not the act of simply being enamored with each other, nor is it about capturing fleeting moments of happiness. True love is the act of uniting hearts toward something greater, of moving together in a common direction, toward a vision that transcends individual desires. It is in this shared purpose that love becomes transformative. Love becomes not just an emotion but an action, something that moves us forward, that drives us to create, to build, and to endure.

The lesson, then, is this: love is a force not to be hoarded, but to be directed. True love grows not in the gaze of two souls focused inward, but in the outward gaze, where both hearts are aligned in the same direction. It is not enough to admire one another; we must walk side by side, with hearts united in a shared vision of purpose. Whether it is the pursuit of a common cause, the building of a family, or the creation of a shared dream, love thrives when two people join together with a vision that transcends their individual lives.

So, I urge you to reflect on this: do you find yourself focused inward, lost in the beauty of the gaze you share with another? Or do you look outward, together, with a common goal in sight? True love is found not in the stillness of self-admiration, but in the movement toward something greater. Love is not about just being together—it is about creating something together, building something that lasts beyond the fleeting moments of pleasure. Look outward together, and let your love propel you toward a future that neither of you could reach alone. For in that shared vision, love becomes not just a feeling, but the most powerful force in your lives.