Love is a hole in the heart.

"Love is a hole in the heart." These words, spoken by the great writer Ben Hecht, express a profound and evocative truth about the nature of love. At first glance, this may seem like a paradox—how can something as uplifting and beautiful as love be described as a hole, something that creates a space of emptiness? Yet, Hecht’s words resonate with the ancient understanding that love is both a source of joy and a deep vulnerability, a place where we open ourselves to another, leaving us exposed. Love, in its most authentic form, fills us, yet at the same time, it creates an absence within us that only the presence of another can soothe. The hole in the heart that love creates is not one of emptiness, but of longing—longing for connection, for understanding, for union with another soul.

In the ancient philosophies of the Greeks, love was seen as a powerful force that both completes and consumes the lover. Eros, the Greek god of love, was not only a figure of desire but a force that could both elevate the soul and leave it longing. Plato, in his Symposium, spoke of love as the yearning for something greater than oneself—a longing for beauty, truth, and unity that never fully ceases. Love creates a void within us, a hunger that can never be fully satisfied, because love, in its truest form, is a longing not just for the other person, but for the connection to something eternal. The hole in the heart is the recognition that love is both a fulfillment and a longing, a paradox that has echoed throughout human history.

Consider the ancient tale of Orpheus and Eurydice, whose love embodies this paradox. Orpheus, a brilliant musician, fell in love with Eurydice, and their love was so deep that Orpheus ventured into the underworld to bring her back after she died. His love for her, his longing to reunite, created a hole in his heart, a pain so deep that it led him to defy death itself. Yet, in the end, when Orpheus looked back at Eurydice as they were leaving the underworld, he lost her forever. Their love was marked by longing, by a deep yearning that could not be satisfied, and in their story, we see that love’s greatest gift is its ability to leave us incomplete, always yearning for something just out of reach. The hole that love creates is the space where our desires and dreams live, forever unsatisfied.

Similarly, in the life of Frida Kahlo, her love for Diego Rivera was both a source of immense joy and deep pain. Their relationship was fraught with betrayals, but it also fueled her art and her inner world. Frida’s love for Diego was a hole in her heart, an absence that shaped her existence. She loved him deeply, even as she suffered from his infidelities, and this love made her an artist of incomparable power, using the pain of love to create her most striking works. In her art, she transformed the hole in her heart into a source of creativity, turning the emptiness love created into a powerful expression of her deepest truths. Like Orpheus, Frida’s love was a longing—a yearning for union that was both fulfilling and painful, and it shaped the very essence of her identity.

Ben Hecht’s words also suggest that love is something that awakens us to our vulnerability. Love creates a space within us that we cannot fill on our own, a hole that is only filled by the presence of another person. It is in this vulnerability that we are most human, most alive. Love opens us up to the pain and joy of connection, and in doing so, it changes us. It is the emptiness that allows for the deepest human connections, the spaces between us where we can give and receive affection, care, and understanding. The hole that love creates is not a flaw, but a sacred place of longing, a place that invites the other in and allows us to experience the fullness of our shared humanity.

The lesson to be learned from Hecht’s words is this: love is not about completeness—it is about embracing the longing, the vulnerability that love creates within us. In love, we find the beauty not just in fulfillment, but in the space of emptiness that love opens in our hearts. We must learn to cherish this hole, for it is in that space of longing that we experience the deepest and most authentic connections with others. Love asks us to be vulnerable, to allow ourselves to yearn, and in that yearning, we find the most profound parts of our humanity.

In our own lives, we must embrace the hole that love creates. Do not fear the emptiness that comes with loving deeply, for in that emptiness lies the true power of connection. Love fully, without the expectation of completion, but with the understanding that the space between us and the one we love is where true growth and connection happen. By accepting the vulnerability and longing that love brings, we allow ourselves to experience the most authentic and meaningful aspects of life—those that remind us that to love is to live fully, with all the longing, the pain, and the beauty that it brings.