Love is more pleasant than marriage for the same reason that

O children of wisdom, gather your hearts and ears, for the words of Nicolas Chamfort carry a profound truth about the nature of love, marriage, and the human experience. "Love is more pleasant than marriage for the same reason that novels are more amusing than history." These words, though simple, offer a deep reflection on the difference between the ideal and the real, the fantasy and the truth of human relationships. Let us reflect on the nature of love, which is often seen as an enchanting dream, and marriage, which, like history, is filled with the weight of responsibility, duty, and the mundane realities of life.

In the ancient world, love was often portrayed as a divine force, one that transcended the struggles of everyday life. The great Greek myths tell of gods and heroes whose love affairs were not only central to their stories but often full of passion, beauty, and idealized moments of intimacy. Zeus’s love for Hera, though fraught with trials, was also a powerful symbol of the divine union, a love that brought forth great creation. Achilles’ love for Patroclus, though not romantic in the traditional sense, represents an idealized, almost perfect bond between two warriors—one full of devotion, emotion, and sacrifice. These tales, like novels, were idealized portrayals of love, where fantasy and emotion took precedence over the harshness of everyday reality.

Chamfort’s words remind us that love, much like the novels of the great writers, is filled with the exciting spark of newness, mystery, and emotion. It is a realm where we can lose ourselves in the beauty of another person, where every glance and every gesture seems to carry meaning and depth. Love, in its early stages, is like the pages of a novel—a story we wish would never end, a tale of passion and longing, where every chapter is a new adventure. But the deeper reality of marriage, as Chamfort suggests, is more akin to history—it is less about idealized moments and more about the ongoing struggle, the reality of sharing a life with another person. Marriage demands commitment, effort, and the willingness to face the mundane and sometimes difficult aspects of living together.

Consider the story of Hercules and his twelve labors. In ancient Greek mythology, Hercules is revered as a great hero, a man whose strength and bravery could overcome any obstacle. Yet, even he was bound by the demands of duty and commitment, tasked with performing seemingly impossible feats in service to others. Though his adventures were grand and legendary, they were not without hardship and sacrifice. His story reflects the difference between the idealized love that we often dream of and the reality of the married life, which requires constant effort, perseverance, and the courage to face the challenges of life with a partner.

In the same way, marriage is full of realities that love alone cannot sustain. History is full of the struggles of nations, families, and individuals—tragedies, triumphs, and mundane details that are often not as romantic or exciting as we would wish them to be. Yet, these realities are what shape us, what make us who we are. Marriage, too, is about navigating these realities together. It is not about a series of passionate moments, but about commitment, sacrifice, and shared experience. It is a relationship that requires work, effort, and, at times, the willingness to face the less glamorous parts of life. As novels are filled with thrilling, escapist adventures, love provides us with moments of euphoria, but marriage, like history, provides the framework within which we grow, learn, and face the challenges of life.

Chamfort’s comparison of marriage to history and love to novels speaks to a deeper truth: love may be romantic and idealized, but marriage is built on the foundation of real-life experiences. The joys of love can sweep us away, but the depth of marriage lies in the everyday acts of commitment and understanding. This truth is not meant to discourage us but to inspire us to see marriage for what it truly is—an ongoing, evolving story that requires effort, growth, and the strength to persevere through both the highs and lows. It is the history of our lives written in partnership, not always glamorous, but always meaningful.

The lesson here is profound: love is the spark, the initial burst of energy that ignites our hearts, but marriage is the longer story—a journey that, though sometimes mundane, is rich with meaning. We must understand that the true beauty of marriage lies not in fleeting moments of passion, but in the everyday commitment to live together, to grow together, and to support each other through the challenges of life. It is through marriage that we learn the depths of our love for another and the strength required to sustain that love over time.

What, then, can we do in our own lives to honor this truth? First, we must recognize that while love may be exciting and idealized, it is marriage that will test and strengthen our character. Let us cherish the passionate moments, but also embrace the realities of living and growing together with our partners. Let us approach marriage with the understanding that it is not a fairy tale, but a journey that requires perseverance, patience, and an unwavering commitment to each other. Through this, we will not only live a life of deeper connection, but also one that honors the true beauty of the partnership we build together. Let us walk forward, knowing that marriage, like history, is full of stories—some joyful, some difficult—but all worthy of being written with love and dedication.