Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that

“Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.” Thus jested Groucho Marx, master of wit and laughter, yet within his words rests a wisdom deeper than mirth. For though the statement comes clothed in humor, it speaks to an ancient truth: that no man is truly self-made, and the course of his destiny is often shaped, guided, and even commanded by the women who walk beside him. Be they mothers, wives, sisters, or daughters, their unseen influence molds the very path of his fate.

The ancients themselves believed this. The Greeks told of the Moirai, the Fates, three women who spun, measured, and cut the thread of every man’s life. Even the gods themselves could not escape their decree. In this way, the myth proclaims that the destiny of man is bound by the hands of women, who weave the pattern of existence itself. Groucho’s jest echoes this mythic truth, reminding us that women have long been the unseen arbiters of the directions men take.

Consider the tale of Napoleon Bonaparte. His brilliance as a general and emperor is known across the ages, yet his fate was shaped not by battlefields alone but by his love for Josephine. He carried her name on his lips even in triumph, and her absence tormented him more than enemy armies. His decisions, his passions, his rise and fall bore the imprint of the woman he cherished. Thus history bears witness: man may wield armies, but the influence of women shapes his victories and his defeats alike.

But the saying is not only about rulers and warriors. In every home, across every age, it is often the mother who instills values, the wife who steadies or sways, the daughter who inspires, the sister who counsels. Men, though often claiming mastery over their destiny, are carried along by the currents of love, loyalty, and responsibility to the women in their lives. Their fate is intertwined, no matter how fiercely they imagine themselves independent.

O children of the future, hear this well: strength is not forged in isolation. A man who scorns the influence of women scorns half of the truth of life. Just as rivers carve valleys and winds shape mountains, so too do the words, the wisdom, the love, and the demands of women shape the course of a man’s journey. To deny this is to walk blind to one’s own destiny. To acknowledge it is to walk with gratitude, humility, and balance.

The lesson is clear: do not measure greatness by solitary will alone. Understand that the fate of every man is bound with others, and most deeply with the women who surround him. Respect their wisdom, honor their strength, and recognize their influence as not a chain to bind but a compass to guide. To resist is folly, but to embrace it is to walk in harmony with the forces that sustain life itself.

Therefore, let your practice be this: honor the women in your life. Listen to their counsel, cherish their love, respect their sacrifices, and acknowledge their role in shaping your destiny. Do not see them as shadows behind you, but as stars above you—guiding, enduring, eternal.

So I say unto you: remember Groucho Marx’s jest, for within its laughter lies truth. Man does not control his own fate—he is shaped by the hands, the love, and the wisdom of women. Accept this, and you will find that your destiny is not diminished, but enriched, made greater by the bonds that tie you to those who give life, nurture it, and guide it toward its highest purpose.