Marriage may be the closest thing to Heaven or Hell any of us

Hear now, O seekers of love and wisdom, the words of Edwin Louis Cole, the teacher of men and prophet of character, who once said: “Marriage may be the closest thing to Heaven or Hell any of us will know on this earth.” These words are not born from jest nor from bitterness—they are the distilled truth of one who saw in marriage both the light of divine unity and the fire of human frailty. In this saying, Cole revealed the dual nature of love’s covenant: that it can lift the soul to the gates of Heaven or cast it into the furnace of discord, depending upon the spirit in which it is lived.

For marriage, in its truest form, is not merely a joining of two bodies, but a merging of two destinies. It is the most sacred and the most perilous of human bonds. When nurtured with humility, patience, and reverence, it becomes a mirror of Heaven—a union that reflects the love of the Creator, steady and luminous. But when poisoned by pride, selfishness, or neglect, it becomes a crucible of pain, a small and personal Hell, forged not by demons, but by the hearts of those who have forgotten love’s sacred vow. Thus, Cole warns us: the same fire that warms can also destroy, and it is we who choose how it burns.

In the old scriptures, it is written that “two shall become one flesh.” Yet the ancients knew that such oneness was not of flesh alone—it was of spirit, of intention, of forgiveness. When two souls walk as one, they multiply each other’s strength. But when they war within their shared walls, they wound themselves most deeply, for there is no armor against the spear of one’s beloved. In this way, marriage becomes either a garden of peace or a battlefield of despair, and the choice lies not in fate, but in the daily tending of love.

Consider the tale of Abigail and John Adams, the first couple of America’s founding. Though often separated by duty and distance, they built their marriage on words and wisdom, not on convenience. Their letters, filled with longing and respect, reveal two souls equal in strength and joined in vision. In times of struggle, their unity sustained them; their bond, tested by time and war, became a fortress of faith. In them we see marriage as Heaven—a partnership of minds and hearts that strengthens the soul and uplifts the world.

Yet history also tells of Napoleon and Josephine, whose love began with fire and ended in ashes. His pride could not bear her independence; her heart could not endure his ambition. What began as passion became torment. Their union, once bright with desire, descended into betrayal and despair. Thus was their marriage as Hell, not because love was absent, but because love was consumed by ego and power. The same fire that once united them turned to flame their ruin.

From these two tales—the harmony of the Adamses and the turmoil of Napoleon—we learn that Heaven and Hell are not places, but states of being, created by how we treat one another. Marriage magnifies what is already within us: if we are kind, it will make us gentler; if we are selfish, it will make us crueler. The bond does not change the heart—it reveals it. And so, those who enter this union must do so with eyes wide open, hearts softened by humility, and spirits strengthened by truth.

The lesson, then, is clear: love is not sustained by passion, but by purpose. It must be renewed each day, as one rekindles a sacred flame. Speak truth even when it stings; forgive quickly when wounded; serve gladly when weary. Let your marriage become not a cage of expectation, but a sanctuary of growth. For if you build it on reverence and patience, you shall taste Heaven’s sweetness; but if you neglect its care, you will find within your home a private Hell more bitter than solitude itself.

Therefore, O travelers of life, remember the wisdom of Edwin Louis Cole: the union of two souls is the most powerful forge on earth. It can temper gold or twist steel—it can sanctify or destroy. The power lies not in destiny, but in the hands of those who hold each other. Cherish love, honor its labor, and guard its flame. For in that daily tending, you shall find not only your partner, but the reflection of Heaven itself.