Mary Lincoln provided Elizabeth Keckley with opportunities for

"Mary Lincoln provided Elizabeth Keckley with opportunities for social and economic advancement she probably had never imagined during her years as a slave, while Elizabeth offered Mary the loyal, steadfast friendship she craved but had always found so elusive." These words from Jennifer Chiaverini reflect a profound truth about the transformative power of friendship and mutual support. In a time of great social, political, and personal turmoil, the unlikely friendship between Mary Lincoln and Elizabeth Keckley serves as a testament to the enduring power of human connection. Through this bond, they each found something they desperately needed: Keckley, the opportunity for a new life filled with possibility, and Mary Lincoln, the loyal companionship and steadfastness she had longed for. This relationship transcends the typical boundaries of race, status, and power, showing us how friendship can be a profound force of healing and empowerment.

In the ancient world, the concept of friendship was held in the highest esteem. Aristotle, in his treatise on ethics, argued that the truest form of friendship is based not on utility or pleasure, but on the shared pursuit of virtue—a bond that is built on mutual respect, care, and the desire to uplift one another. In the case of Mary Lincoln and Elizabeth Keckley, their relationship was not simply one of servitude and patronage, but one rooted in a shared humanity. Despite the vast differences in their social standing—one a first lady, the other an ex-slave—they found common ground in their personal struggles and the human desire for companionship.

Consider the story of Socrates and his relationships with his followers, particularly Plato. Socrates, though revered for his wisdom, was often a lonely figure, his questioning nature alienating those around him. Yet, Plato saw beyond Socrates’ unconventional methods and formed a bond with him, not based on political power or wealth, but on mutual respect and the pursuit of truth. Through their relationship, Plato was able to gain not only wisdom but companionship—the kind of support that Socrates had always longed for but found so difficult to foster. In a similar way, Elizabeth Keckley and Mary Lincoln found in each other a partnership based on shared needs—one for emotional support and the other for social mobility.

Keckley, having been born into slavery, spent much of her life fighting for her own freedom and dignity. Her rise from the painful existence of slavery to a life of independence as a seamstress for the first lady is nothing short of extraordinary. Through her bond with Mary Lincoln, Keckley was able to achieve social and economic advancement—opportunities that she had likely never dreamed of in her years of bondage. In this way, Mary Lincoln provided Keckley with the means to transcend the limitations of her past, offering her a chance to rise above the system that had once bound her.

However, it was not only Keckley who benefited from the relationship. Mary Lincoln, herself deeply isolated in her position as the wife of Abraham Lincoln, struggled with the burdens of public scrutiny, personal loss, and the weight of the Civil War. Her role as first lady came with enormous responsibility, and she was often judged harshly by both her contemporaries and history. In Elizabeth Keckley, Mary found a friend who, though in a subordinate role, offered her the loyalty and steadfastness that she desperately craved. Keckley’s friendship was not based on duty or obligation; it was grounded in a shared understanding, and in their time together, Mary Lincoln experienced the kind of true companionship that had always been elusive to her.

Their friendship reminds us that friendship, at its core, is not about what one person can give or take in a material sense, but about what they can offer to one another in terms of emotional support and human connection. True friendship transcends the superficial and the external, reaching into the depths of shared experience, pain, and growth. The relationship between Mary Lincoln and Elizabeth Keckley is a profound example of this. In a time where slavery, social class, and gender often determined one’s worth and opportunities, they found in each other a bridge over these divisions—a reminder that human connection can rise above the barriers that society erects.

The lesson we can draw from their story is simple yet profound: friendship has the power to change lives. It is not bound by social status or past histories; it is defined by the mutual respect, compassion, and support that we offer to one another. In our own lives, we must seek to foster relationships that are grounded in empathy, trust, and loyalty, even when society tells us that such bonds are impossible or undesirable. Friendship, like the one between Mary Lincoln and Elizabeth Keckley, can transcend the limitations placed on us by our circumstances, and it has the power to transform not only the lives of those involved but the world around them.

Let us, then, seek to build friendships based on these ideals—friendships that elevate both parties, that provide the support needed in times of adversity, and that are grounded in mutual understanding. Keckley and Lincoln show us that the truest forms of friendship are those that transcend the external and connect us to the deepest parts of our shared humanity. Through these friendships, we can find the strength to face the challenges of our lives and the courage to create a better world for those who come after us. May we, too, be as loyal, steadfast, and open as Keckley and Lincoln, knowing that in friendship, we find the power to endure, to grow, and to transform.