Matching tattoos don't ensure the longevity of a friendship, any

In the tapestry of friendship, there are countless ways in which two souls may bind themselves to one another, seeking to symbolize their bond through gestures, symbols, or shared experiences. The words of Jenna Wortham offer a profound truth: "Matching tattoos don't ensure the longevity of a friendship, any more than any other mutual hardship." These words speak to a deeper understanding of connection—that the strength of a friendship is not built on outward symbols, no matter how permanent they may seem, but on the substance and authenticity of the relationship itself.

Friendship, the ancients understood, is not a mere exchange of fleeting moments, but a connection that is tested over time and through life’s trials. In ancient Greece, the bond between Achilles and Patroclus is often cited as the epitome of true friendship, but their bond was not marked by symbolic gestures; rather, it was forged in the fires of battle and the sacrifices they made for each other. Achilles mourned Patroclus as he would mourn for his own soul—such was the depth of their connection. Matching tattoos, though they may be beautiful, cannot compare to the depth of commitment and the shared experiences that create true unity between friends.

The ancient wisdom of the Romans provides another lesson in the endurance of relationships. The friendship between Julius Caesar and Brutus is a tragic reminder that no external marker of loyalty—whether through shared symbols or mutual challenges—can guarantee the loyalty of a person. Despite their early bond, Brutus’s betrayal of Caesar revealed that true friendship must be tested in the most difficult of circumstances. Tattoos, like the bond between Caesar and Brutus, can be temporary symbols, but they do not guarantee that the friendship will endure through the shifting tides of time and circumstance. It is the strength of mutual trust and shared purpose that holds relationships together—not the outward appearance of a connection.

Moreover, shared hardships, as Wortham suggests, are not the measure of a friendship’s worth. The ancient Spartans, known for their rigorous and challenging way of life, forged their bonds not through hardship alone, but through mutual respect, trust, and the recognition of the value each warrior brought to the collective. They did not merely endure hardship together; they grew from it, learning to rely on and support each other in ways that transcended the physical trials they faced. Hardship, while it may strengthen a bond temporarily, does not ensure its longevity. It is the ability to grow together, to understand and support one another through the challenges, that determines the endurance of any relationship.

In our own lives, we often find ourselves seeking ways to solidify the bonds of friendship—whether through matching tattoos, shared struggles, or other outward gestures. Yet, Wortham’s words remind us that the true measure of a relationship lies not in these visible symbols, but in the depth of the connection itself. Friendship that endures is not defined by external markers, but by the quality of understanding, the willingness to grow together, and the commitment to support one another through life’s inevitable challenges. The friendship between David and Jonathan, for example, was not marked by physical symbols, but by a profound understanding of loyalty and mutual respect, qualities that transcended their time together and made their bond eternal in the eyes of history.

The lesson for us is clear: do not seek to define your relationships by external symbols or fleeting struggles. Instead, seek to nurture the inner qualities that make a friendship truly enduring—trust, mutual respect, shared growth, and the willingness to support one another through both the good and the bad. Just as the ancients knew, the true strength of any bond lies not in the outward appearance but in the deep, unshakable connection that is built over time and through shared experiences. Tattoos, while meaningful in their own right, are not the measure of a friendship’s depth—it is the heart that determines whether a bond will endure.

Let us then approach our friendships with a deep awareness of what truly makes them last. Rather than seeking external markers of connection, we must cultivate the inner strength of our relationships, allowing them to grow and mature in authenticity. In this, we find the truest measure of what it means to be loyal, to be present, and to create bonds that will stand the test of time. Just as the ancient heroes forged bonds not through symbols but through shared commitment and understanding, so too must we seek to build friendships that endure, that are rooted not in the temporary, but in the eternal truths of loyalty and love.