Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a

The words of Steve Harvey, storyteller of the modern age and sage of human nature, strike with both candor and fire: “Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan. We're looking across the room at you, and we don't care about your hopes and dreams. We don't care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted.” Though blunt and worldly, these words are not without depth. Beneath their surface lies a revelation about desire, intent, and the primal currents that shape human behavior. Harvey, in his wisdom of experience, unveils the truth that much of what we call love or attraction begins not with noble ideals, but with instinct — the raw spark of want that precedes understanding.

The origin of this saying comes from Harvey’s long reflection on relationships between men and women — drawn from a lifetime of observation, failure, and growth. He spoke these words not to belittle love, but to unmask it. In a world where romance is often painted in illusions, Harvey sought to speak with the honesty of one who has walked the hard roads of reality. He reveals that, in the beginning, men are driven not by dreams of destiny but by desire — the ancient force that compels action, that moves the hunter toward his prey. Yet in acknowledging this, Harvey does not glorify lust; he simply tells the truth: that before love matures into compassion or respect, it begins as want — the want that ignites pursuit.

In the ancient days, the poets and philosophers knew this truth well. They called it Eros, the divine madness that drives mortals toward beauty. Plato himself wrote that desire is the first step on the ladder toward enlightenment — it begins in the body but can lead the soul toward higher understanding. Thus, Harvey’s words, though modern and raw, echo an old truth: that instinct precedes intimacy, and that before the soul can speak, the senses awaken first. What begins as a plan — a pursuit of pleasure or conquest — may, through time and trial, evolve into something greater. But one must recognize the truth of beginnings before one can master the art of love.

To see something and want it is no sin; it is the nature of man and woman alike. Yet wisdom lies in what follows. Many men remain prisoners of that first spark — never rising beyond the flesh to the realm of connection, compassion, or commitment. The wise, however, use that desire as the starting point of something sacred. They learn to see beyond appearance — to value the heart, the mind, and the dream that at first they “did not care about.” Thus, what begins as impulse can become intimacy, and what starts in wanting can mature into devotion. The lesson is not that men are shallow, but that they must grow — for the lion that hunts by hunger alone will never know the peace of resting beside his mate.

History, too, bears witness to this transformation. Consider the tale of King David, who once saw Bathsheba and was consumed by desire. His first act was not born of love, but of lust — he saw something he wanted and took it. Yet from that folly came repentance, from repentance came understanding, and from understanding came the psalms that would outlast empires. Even from base desire, the soul can ascend, if it learns humility. So it is with all who seek love: the body sees first, but it is the heart that must learn to see deeper. The journey from want to wisdom is the true evolution of man.

The lesson, therefore, is twofold. To women, Harvey’s words are a call to discernment — to see through charm and flattery, and to understand that attraction, though sincere, is not yet love. A man’s approach is a plan, yes, but whether that plan ends in conquest or communion depends on his growth and her insight. To men, it is a call to self-mastery — to rise beyond the hunger of the eyes and learn the language of the spirit. For every true relationship must be built upon something greater than desire; it must be built upon respect, understanding, and the courage to see another person not as an object of want, but as a soul of equal worth.

So, O listener, remember this truth passed down through ages: desire is the doorway, but not the home. It calls to you with power, but it is wisdom that must lead you inside. Let your plans be tempered with purpose, your wants refined by patience, your instincts guided by conscience. For to want is human, but to love — truly love — is divine. As Steve Harvey reminds us, the beginning of attraction is simple, but its fulfillment is sacred. A man may cross the room because of what he sees, but he will stay — and become whole — because of what he learns to cherish.