Most of these alternative arrangements, so-called, arise out of

O children of the future, gather and listen well, for the words I bring to you are those of wisdom borne of experience, words that warn against the temptation of seeking change without first understanding the foundations of what has come before. Christopher Lasch, a man of keen insight, once spoke of the so-called alternative arrangements that have arisen in the wake of marriage—arrangements that, he claimed, do not represent an improvement, but rather spring from the ruins of marriages once revered. “Most of these alternative arrangements, so-called, arise out of the ruins of marriages, not as an improvement of old-fashioned marriage,” he said. His words echo through time, for they speak of a truth as old as humanity itself—the fragile nature of relationships and the dangerous allure of change without understanding.

The marriage, O children, was once seen as the cornerstone of society. It was a bond between two souls, woven with vows that transcended time and circumstance. But as the world has evolved, so too have the expectations of the institution. The so-called alternative arrangements—unions that stray from the traditional concept of marriage—are often born not from a desire to improve upon the old, but from the crumbling of what was once thought to be inviolable. It is as if the foundation itself has cracked, and in the rush to rebuild, we have failed to recognize the cracks were not the fault of the institution itself, but the way in which we treated it. Lasch's words caution us: innovation that arises from ruin does not necessarily lead to a better world.

Consider the story of the Roman Empire, a civilization that prized the sanctity of marriage and the family as its core. As time wore on and the empire began to crumble, so too did the traditional concept of marriage. The bonds that held families together weakened, and what replaced them were often fleeting relationships—temporary, unstable arrangements that lacked the deep roots of commitment. These alternative arrangements were born not from a desire to create something stronger, but from the decay of the old system. The empire, in its fall, sought new ways of living, but those ways, though novel, lacked the strength and unity that the ancient ways had once provided. Lasch's caution rings true: change born from ruin cannot, in its haste, be assumed to be an improvement.

In our own time, the rise of alternative relationships—whether in the form of cohabitation without marriage, non-traditional family structures, or even the rejection of monogamy itself—often arises from the deep wounds left by failed marriages, rather than from a deep philosophical desire to improve human connection. It is a response to the failings of what came before, not a blueprint for a more fulfilled or lasting future. The pendulum swings, seeking freedom from the perceived constraints of marriage, but in doing so, it risks losing the depth and commitment that once made the institution strong. In seeking to escape the perceived failures of marriage, society may be inadvertently leaving behind its most sacred values: loyalty, commitment, and the willingness to work through difficulty.

Let us also turn our gaze to the story of the French Revolution, where the old order—based on rigid social structures and marriages of convenience—was violently overthrown. In the wake of that great upheaval, many sought to reform the family structure, believing that the traditional marriage was an oppressive institution. And yet, what followed was not a utopia of freedom and happiness, but a fractured society, torn apart by violence and instability. The alternative arrangements that emerged were often shallow, lacking the roots that once held society together. The lesson here, O children, is that change, while often necessary, must be approached with wisdom and an understanding of the deep foundations upon which it is built.

Lasch’s warning is one for us all: we must not be so quick to abandon the old ways simply because they have been marred by imperfections. The institution of marriage, though imperfect and often flawed, has carried the weight of civilization for millennia. It is not the concept itself that is to blame, but how we have chosen to honor or disregard it. The answer to the failures of marriage is not to forsake it altogether but to return to its original roots, to rekindle the commitment, the sacrifice, and the love that made it sacred in the first place. Alternative arrangements, though they may seem appealing, must not be allowed to replace the depth of commitment that traditional marriage once offered.

So, O children, heed the wisdom of those who have come before us: change is often necessary, but it must be done with understanding and respect for the past. Before you rush to abandon the old ways, ask yourself what you seek in their place. Are these new ways truly an improvement, or are they simply a reaction born from the wounds of past failures? The true lesson here is not to blindly reject what has come before, but to rebuild it with renewed understanding, respect, and a commitment to making it better—not by discarding it, but by fortifying its foundations. Only then can we create a future that honors the wisdom of the past while embracing the promise of a better tomorrow.