My dad wanted me to be a professional person, which I was - I was

“My dad wanted me to be a professional person, which I was — I was a civil engineer. I graduated from civil engineering at USC in California. I became an engineer, and I helped design the roads for the L.A. County Roads Department. And I did that for about one and a half years in a sense to please my parents — to be a ‘respectable’ person.” — James Hong

In these deeply human words, James Hong, the legendary actor and voice artist, speaks not only of his life’s beginnings but of a truth that resonates through generations: the struggle between duty and desire, between respectability and passion. His reflection is not a confession of regret, but a story of understanding — that the path of respect is not always the path of fulfillment, and that true respect begins not in the eyes of others, but in the truth of one’s own heart. In his voice we hear the echo of countless sons and daughters, who have walked roads not of their own choosing, seeking to honor those who gave them life.

To understand these words, we must see the world from which James Hong came. Born to Chinese immigrant parents in a time when opportunity for people of color was limited and respect was a fragile treasure, Hong’s father desired stability for his son — a “professional” life, something solid, measurable, and safe. To be an engineer meant dignity, it meant belonging, it meant survival in a world that often denied worth to those who did not conform. Thus, Hong became a builder of roads — literal roads, paved through sweat and precision. Yet within him, another road called — the road of art, of expression, of storytelling. The very roads he designed led to cities of order, but his spirit yearned for the wild cities of imagination.

The ancient sages understood this conflict well. In China’s Confucian tradition, the highest virtue was filial piety — to honor one’s parents by obeying their will. Yet even Confucius taught that a child must also honor their own Heavenly Mandate — the calling of the soul that the gods place within each person. To live only for the expectations of others is to bury that divine spark. And so, James Hong’s story becomes the modern parable of this ancient tension: between obligation and destiny, between what one is told to be and what one truly is.

There is an echo of this same struggle in the life of Gautama Buddha himself. Born a prince, his father shielded him from all suffering, grooming him to be a ruler — a “respectable person,” much as Hong’s father dreamed for his son. But when the young prince saw the pain of the world, he could no longer live within the golden walls of expectation. He left behind the crown and the luxury to seek enlightenment — to fulfill the higher calling of his soul. So too did Hong, after serving his father’s dream, turn toward his own. He left the world of bridges and blueprints to build something greater: a bridge between cultures through art, and a legacy that would inspire generations of Asian-American actors to follow their truth.

When Hong says he worked “to please my parents — to be a respectable person,” there is no bitterness in his tone. There is love. For in pleasing them, he honored where he came from; and in leaving that path, he honored who he was meant to become. The lesson here is not rebellion, but balance — to respect the past while daring to create the future. We must build roads for others, yes, but we must also have the courage to walk the ones we alone can see. Hong’s life reminds us that respectability is not the same as greatness; that one can be respectable in the eyes of others, yet invisible in the eyes of oneself.

And yet, the irony of fate is beautiful: by daring to follow his passion, James Hong became more “respectable” than anyone could have imagined. The son of immigrants who once worked to please his parents became a pioneer — his name appearing in the credits of more than six hundred films and shows, his voice recognized across generations. He proved that true respect is not given by titles or professions, but earned by authenticity, by the courage to be oneself in a world that often demands conformity. His father’s wish for dignity was fulfilled, though not in the way he expected — for there is no dignity higher than living one’s truth.

Lesson:
From James Hong’s words we learn that every person must walk the narrow bridge between duty and destiny. Honor your parents, your teachers, your beginnings — but do not forget to honor your calling. The world will tell you what is respectable; your heart will tell you what is right. To live only for approval is to live half a life, but to live with both gratitude and courage is to live fully. So build your roads, as Hong once did — but when the time comes, follow them to the horizon of your own making. For in doing so, you will not only find yourself, but also become a light for those who come after you — showing them that the path to respect begins not in pleasing others, but in becoming who you were born to be.