My mom always said, 'Marry someone smarter than yourself, Katee

In the days of old, when wisdom was carried not on parchment but upon the tongues of mothers, fathers, and elders, there were sayings that pierced deeper than the sharpest spear. Such is the utterance recalled by Katee Sackhoff: “My mom always said, ‘Marry someone smarter than yourself, Katee, because No. 1, you’re not that smart. And No. 2, then you’ll have smart babies.’” Though it is spoken in jest, though it carries the warmth of humor, it bears within it the golden grain of truth. For behind its laughter lies the eternal counsel of generations: choose well the companions of your life, for they shape not only your destiny but also the lives yet unborn.

The ancients have always known that the union of minds is as important as the union of hearts. To bind oneself to another is to weave together the strands of two souls into one tapestry. If the threads are strong, the cloth will endure the storms; if they are weak, the garment tears. The mother, with sharp wit, clothed this ancient wisdom in lighthearted words. She knew that humility is the first step toward greatness: to admit that one is not the wisest in all things, and thus to seek a partner who strengthens where one is weak.

Consider the tale of Socrates and Xanthippe. Though their marriage was said to be turbulent, Socrates once declared that by enduring her fierce temper, he learned patience and strength of spirit. In truth, every great teacher has required one who challenges them, tests them, sharpens them as iron sharpens iron. The counsel of Katee’s mother rests upon this same foundation: do not seek the easy road of comfort alone, but the road of challenge, of growth, of elevation. For the spouse who is wiser can raise you upward, just as a mountain climber pulls his companion toward the summit.

And what of the children? The ancients often spoke of posterity as the true measure of life’s worth. A man plants trees not for himself but so that his descendants may sit in their shade. To wish for “smart babies” is to wish for a lineage that surpasses oneself, to create a river whose waters run clearer and stronger as it flows. The mother’s jesting remark carries within it a serious truth: the choices we make in love ripple outward into generations unseen. A wise partner is not only a blessing to you but to those who carry your name after you.

Yet let us not mistake wisdom for arrogance. To seek someone “smarter” is not merely to hunt for titles, learning, or lofty words, but to find one whose spirit perceives more deeply, whose vision stretches further, whose heart carries the weight of discernment. For wisdom wears many garments: in one, it appears as knowledge of books; in another, it reveals itself in kindness, patience, or the courage to stand firm when others fall. The teaching is not about pride, but about reverence for qualities that lift the human soul higher.

So, too, we may look upon history’s great unions for guidance. Abigail Adams, wife to John Adams, the second President of the United States, counseled her husband with words that echoed through the halls of power. She, with sharp intellect and unwavering vision, helped shape a leader and guided him toward justice. Her wisdom did not remain her own—it became part of the heritage of a nation. Such is the power of choosing a partner whose insight runs deeper than one’s own.

The lesson is clear: in matters of the heart, seek not only beauty or wealth, but wisdom, for it endures when all else fades. Do not fear to walk beside those greater than you, for in their shadow you may learn to shine. The humility to admit your limits is not weakness, but strength, for it opens the gate to growth. The laughter in the mother’s words conceals a sacred charge: choose well, so that your house may stand firm, your children may rise higher, and your soul may not stagnate but soar.

Therefore, let each who hears these words take them to heart. When you look for a companion, ask: Does this person challenge me? Inspire me? Call me upward into a better version of myself? And in your daily life, surround yourself with those who sharpen your mind and ignite your spirit. Marry wisdom, befriend wisdom, pursue wisdom—in love, in work, in every bond you form. For in doing so, you shall not only walk a brighter path, but you shall kindle a flame that burns for generations to come.