My mom always said that there would be haters. Not everyone can

“My mom always said that there would be haters. Not everyone can love ya.” — Joel Madden

In these grounded and timeless words, Joel Madden shares a piece of simple yet immortal wisdom — the kind passed quietly from a mother to her child, forged in experience and tempered by love. “There would be haters,” she told him, and in that single phrase lies a truth as old as humankind: that no soul, no matter how kind or pure, can walk through life without encountering the shadow of envy, misunderstanding, or resentment. His mother’s counsel was not born of bitterness, but of clarity — a reminder that peace of heart is not found in universal approval, but in self-acceptance and strength of character.

The ancients would have understood her wisdom well. They knew that every person who rises to light casts a shadow — that to stand out is to invite both admiration and criticism. The philosopher Socrates, who devoted his life to questioning and truth, was condemned by his city for corrupting youth. The Roman Cicero, a man of eloquence and reason, was hated by those who feared his tongue. Even the gentle Buddha was met with ridicule in his early days, as others mocked his renunciation of wealth. These men did not falter, for they understood what Madden’s mother understood — that to be true to oneself is a greater virtue than to be loved by all.

When Joel Madden’s mother said, “Not everyone can love ya,” she was teaching him the art of emotional resilience — to meet disapproval not with anger, but with wisdom. The ancients called this equanimity, the balance of the spirit that neither exalts in praise nor collapses in scorn. It is a lesson that each generation must learn anew, for the heart longs for love even from those who cannot give it. To live fully, one must learn to face rejection without losing joy, and criticism without losing faith. This is the armor of the wise — not made of metal, but of understanding.

Her words also carry the deep tenderness of a mother’s foresight. She knew that her son, destined to stand upon the stage and pour his soul into song, would draw not only admirers but detractors — for the more brightly one shines, the more sharply the world’s eyes turn. Fame magnifies both love and disdain. Yet her wisdom extended beyond her son’s path; it was a message for all who dare to live authentically. “Not everyone can love ya” is not a lament, but a liberation. It frees the soul from the impossible burden of pleasing all and allows it instead to focus on what is true, good, and kind within itself.

History offers many examples of those who found strength in such wisdom. Consider Galileo, who gazed into the heavens and saw truths the world was not ready to accept. They mocked him, imprisoned him, and forced him to recant — yet the stars did not change for their hatred. Galileo’s courage to speak the truth despite scorn mirrors the very essence of Madden’s mother’s lesson: that the opinions of others cannot alter what is real. The ancient Stoics, too, would nod in agreement. Marcus Aurelius, emperor and philosopher, wrote, “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it.”

In this way, the mother’s advice becomes both shield and compass. It shields the spirit from unnecessary wounds, for the wise do not measure their worth by the praise or blame of others. And it guides the heart toward compassion — for when we understand that “not everyone can love us,” we also understand that we, too, will not love all we meet. Thus, judgment softens into empathy. To know that hatred exists is not to return it, but to rise above it — to walk one’s path in truth, undeterred and unembittered.

Let this be the lesson for all who hear: seek truth, not approval. When you do what is right, when you live with integrity, the love you receive will be real, and the hate you endure will be powerless. Do not let the voices of envy or misunderstanding steal your peace. As the ancients said, “The oak grows strong not despite the wind, but because of it.” So too does the soul grow strong through opposition.

And so, as Joel Madden’s mother wisely taught, remember this: not everyone will love you — and that is as it should be. For life is not a contest for affection, but a journey toward authenticity. Walk it boldly, love deeply, forgive freely, and remain unmoved by the clamor of those who do not see your worth. In doing so, you become not only resilient — you become radiant, like those who, though unpraised by many, shine eternally in truth.