My mom is very romantic. As is my dad. They appreciate real

Ansel Elgort, with gratitude and reverence for those who gave him life, once declared: “My mom is very romantic. As is my dad. They appreciate real romance.” These words, though spoken softly, contain a treasure of wisdom. For in them we hear not only the admiration of a son, but also a truth about love that endures through time: that real romance is not mere passion’s spark, but the steady flame of devotion, respect, and appreciation between two souls who walk together through life.

The ancients spoke of love not as a fleeting fire, but as a virtue, a discipline of the heart. The Greeks had many words for love—eros, passion; philia, friendship; storge, familial affection; and agape, selfless devotion. To appreciate real romance is to unite these forms, to live not in the thrill of fleeting moments alone, but in the patient art of weaving lives together. In honoring his parents, Elgort shows us that romance is not only for youth; it is a lifelong practice, cultivated and cherished like a garden that blossoms with time.

Consider the story of Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor, and his wife, Faustina. Though an emperor burdened with wars and governance, Marcus often wrote of his wife’s presence as a source of comfort and devotion. He admired not only her beauty but her partnership in the labors of life. Their bond was not built on extravagance but on shared respect and endurance. This is the essence of what Elgort describes: romance that is real, tested by time, and strengthened by mutual appreciation.

We also see this truth in the letters of John Adams and Abigail Adams, who, separated by duty during the founding of America, wrote to one another with words filled not only with love but with admiration and trust. Their romance was not shallow flattery; it was a bond of mind and heart, a union that sustained them in the midst of revolution. They “appreciated real romance,” for theirs was not rooted merely in desire but in companionship and shared vision.

Elgort’s words remind us that romance is not found only in gestures—the flowers, the dinners, the surprises—though these are sweet and noble. Real romance lies in appreciation: in seeing the beloved not as an ornament, but as a treasure; not as a fleeting passion, but as a partner worthy of reverence. To be romantic in truth is to notice, to care, to honor daily the presence of the one beside you. His parents’ example shines as a teaching that romance is not consumed in youth but matures with time, becoming deeper, steadier, more enduring.

The lesson for us is profound. In a world where love is too often measured by grand displays or fleeting pleasures, we are called to cultivate real romance: patience, gratitude, kindness, and shared joy in the small rhythms of life. To appreciate one’s beloved is to give them the gift of presence, of recognition, of devotion. Without this, romance withers into performance; with it, romance becomes an eternal flame.

So I say unto you, seekers of love: let your romance be real. Learn from Elgort’s parents, who embody the wisdom of appreciation. Do not chase only passion’s fire, but also tend the quiet embers that warm a lifetime. Speak words of gratitude, share in life’s burdens, honor one another in both strength and weakness. For in this lies the greatest truth of love: to appreciate real romance is to build a bond that no time, no trial, no darkness can undo.