My parents are conservative. They really weren't in support of us

The filmmaker and writer Aishwarya R. Dhanush, daughter of two legends of Indian cinema, once reflected with candor: “My parents are conservative. They really weren’t in support of us dating before marriage.” Though spoken simply, her words open a window into the profound tension between tradition and modernity, between the values passed down by generations and the new ways of love shaped by changing times. It is not merely a statement about romance — it is a meditation on culture, family, and the timeless quest to balance duty and desire.

In this quote, Aishwarya does not speak in defiance but in understanding. She acknowledges the conservatism of her parents not as a constraint, but as an inheritance of belief — one rooted in a worldview that prized discipline, purity, and familial honor. In many traditional societies, love before marriage was seen not as freedom, but as risk — a disruption of the sacred order of life. Her words, then, carry the echo of countless homes where affection was silent, where emotion bowed to structure. Yet within that silence, love still found its own language — patient, respectful, enduring.

The ancients themselves wrestled with this balance. In Vedic India, the concept of marriage was not only personal but cosmic — a union bound by duty to family, community, and divine law. To “date,” as we now call it, was a foreign notion, for love was expected to emerge after marriage, not before it. In this world, love was not chosen but cultivated — like a garden tended slowly over time. And yet, even then, stories like that of Shakuntala and Dushyanta remind us that affection and destiny have always found ways to intertwine, no matter the rules. The heart has always whispered beneath the strictest traditions.

What Aishwarya R. Dhanush expresses is not rebellion, but reflection. She stands at the crossroads between two worlds — one built on tradition, the other on individual freedom. Her tone is not that of complaint, but of awareness — the voice of someone who understands that love evolves, and that generations often differ not in what they feel, but in how they express it. The modern heart seeks connection before commitment; the traditional heart commits before discovering connection. Both paths hold their own wisdom and their own pain.

Her story mirrors a universal truth: that each generation redefines love according to its needs, yet remains bound by the threads of its ancestors. Consider the life of Rabindranath Tagore, the great poet of India, who himself wrote passionately about love and freedom in a deeply traditional society. Though his upbringing was steeped in restraint, his writings celebrated emotional honesty and individual choice. Like Aishwarya, he sought to reconcile two truths — that the wisdom of the past should not become a cage, and that the liberty of the present should not become recklessness.

There is also a tender irony in her words. The very conservatism that once guarded love has, in time, given rise to deeper appreciation for it. Parental caution, though it may appear as limitation, often springs from protection — from the desire to spare the next generation from heartbreak, uncertainty, or social judgment. But life itself teaches that even love, when controlled too tightly, withers. As every parent eventually learns, the child must walk their own path to discover both joy and sorrow — and through it, wisdom.

So, my listener, take this reflection as a lesson in balance and understanding. Honor the traditions that shaped you, but do not let them silence the truth of your own heart. Learn from the past, but live in the present. If your elders fear what they cannot understand, meet that fear not with rebellion, but with patience — for time softens all convictions. As Aishwarya R. Dhanush reminds us, love is not only a personal act but a cultural evolution — one that bridges generations, transforming what was once forbidden into what is now accepted. The true art of living lies not in choosing one side, but in weaving both into harmony — the wisdom of the old world with the courage of the new.