My wife knows that I thrive on independence, and whatever girls

"My wife knows that I thrive on independence, and whatever girls live with me must know that, too. They must realize I have a certain respect for my wife and love for my children, and my work comes pretty much ahead of all that." – Don Ho

Listen well, O seekers of understanding, for in these words of Don Ho, the famed Hawaiian singer and cultural icon, lies a portrait of a man who walks the narrow path between freedom and duty, between love and labor. His confession is not of pride, but of balance — a balance that every soul must one day learn to master. When he declares that he “thrives on independence,” he is not rejecting love or family, but naming the fire that sustains his spirit. For the heart that creates must also breathe freely, and the one who bears great responsibility must first be true to himself before he can be true to others.

The meaning of his words lies in the eternal tension between personal independence and the bonds of affection that life demands of us. Don Ho was a man whose life was lived in the bright lights of performance — a life of music, of late nights, of constant movement. Yet even amidst the applause, he sought to keep his integrity — to remain honest about who he was. His statement is a testament to the importance of self-knowledge. For one who does not understand his own nature cannot live rightly with others. He knew that his calling required solitude, creativity, and dedication, and he spoke plainly: his work was not a mere occupation, but his lifeblood — the rhythm that carried his being forward.

The origin of this reflection rises from a man shaped by both family and fame. Don Ho was born into the rich heritage of Hawaii — a place where harmony with the land and with one’s roots is sacred. Yet he also lived in the modern world, where ambition demands sacrifice. In his words, we glimpse the struggle of a man who sought to honor both his independence and his devotion to family. His acknowledgment that “my work comes ahead of all that” may sound severe, yet it reveals a truth known to every artist, every leader, every dreamer: that the pursuit of excellence often demands solitude, discipline, and at times, distance from those we love most. It is not a rejection of love, but a recognition that purpose and passion are the very forces that make love and life possible.

Consider, as a mirror to his thought, the story of Leonardo da Vinci, who once said that art lives longer than flesh. Leonardo’s devotion to his craft consumed him — yet it was through that devotion that he left behind works that continue to stir hearts centuries later. Like Don Ho, he understood that true creation requires independence — not as rebellion, but as the sacred solitude where genius takes form. For the mind that belongs wholly to others cannot serve its calling; and the soul that denies its work will wither in regret.

Yet there is also humility in Ho’s confession. He does not boast of his freedom — he acknowledges that those who share his life must understand and accept it. He places his respect for his wife and love for his children not beneath contempt, but beneath truth. In this honesty lies integrity. Better, he teaches, to speak one’s truth with clarity than to build a life upon the shifting sands of pretense. His is the wisdom of one who knows that love cannot thrive in deceit; that relationships endure not by illusion, but by mutual understanding of each soul’s nature and needs.

The lesson here is not merely for the artist or the famous, but for all who seek to live meaningfully. Every man and woman must find the line between independence and connection — between self and service. To live rightly, one must give to others without losing oneself. The river that gives water to the fields must still flow from a living spring. In the same way, one’s work — one’s purpose — must not be abandoned, for it is the source from which love draws strength.

So let this teaching be passed down as a pearl of wisdom: cherish your independence, not as an escape from duty, but as the soil in which your spirit grows. Love deeply, but love truthfully, and make your work a reflection of who you are. Remember that respect, honesty, and self-awareness are the pillars upon which enduring relationships rest. For as Don Ho reminds us, life’s harmony is not found in perfect balance, but in the honest rhythm of a soul that knows both its limits and its song.