No lover, if he be of good faith, and sincere, will deny he would

The quote by Marquis de Sade is undeniably provocative, and it invites a deep examination of the concepts of love, faithfulness, and human nature. De Sade, known for his controversial and often disturbing views, is making a statement here that is not necessarily meant to be taken literally, but rather as an exploration of extreme emotions that can arise in relationships.

Host: The room was quiet, a charged silence hanging in the air. Outside, the world had settled into the calm of the evening, but inside, the conversation felt heavy with the weight of the words just spoken. Jeeny sat at the table, her fingers lightly tracing the rim of her cup, her expression thoughtful. Jack, standing by the window, gazed out into the darkened world, his mind clearly absorbed in the statement he had just read.

Jeeny: (breaking the silence, her voice calm but intense) “I came across something by Marquis de Sade today that really made me think. He said, ‘No lover, if he be of good faith, and sincere, will deny he would prefer to see his mistress dead than unfaithful.’ What do you think about that?”

Jack: (pauses, his voice thoughtful) “It’s a deeply disturbing statement, isn’t it? At first glance, it seems almost extreme, even horrific. But I think what De Sade is trying to explore here is the intensity of human emotions, particularly jealousy and possessiveness in love. He’s suggesting that the betrayal of infidelity might hurt so deeply, in some people’s view, that they would prefer death over the pain of betrayal. It’s an unsettling reflection on how love, when it’s tied up with control and ownership, can turn into something toxic.”

Jeeny: (nodding slowly) “Exactly. It’s like De Sade is pushing us to look at the darkest side of human emotion—how far some people can go in their attachment, how deeply they can feel the sting of betrayal. But he’s not endorsing this perspective; he’s merely exploring the extremes of human feeling. The idea that someone would prefer death over infidelity speaks to the destructive power of attachment when it becomes an obsession. It challenges the conventional notion of love as a positive, uplifting force.”

Host: The stillness in the room deepened, and Jack turned slightly toward Jeeny, his expression softened as he considered the implications of De Sade’s quote. Outside, the world had quieted, but inside, their conversation had taken on a more introspective tone, reflecting on the complexities of love, jealousy, and possessiveness.

Jack: (his voice quieter now, more introspective) “What strikes me about this is the idea that love, in some forms, is about control—wanting to possess the other person completely, to the point where any deviation from loyalty is seen as an existential threat. De Sade’s quote reflects a view that love isn’t just about connection or mutual respect; it’s about having ownership, and if you lose that ownership, it’s as if you lose everything. The idea that infidelity could be worse than death implies that betrayal isn’t just emotional—it’s a complete destruction of something fundamental.”

Jeeny: (softly) “Yes, it’s the dark side of love, the way it can turn into possession and control. De Sade is showing us how dangerous love can be when it becomes selfish, when it’s driven by the need to control and own another person rather than truly love them. Infidelity, in this view, is not just a breach of trust—it’s an assault on the very foundation of what makes the lover feel whole, leading to extreme reactions. The emotional pain is so intense that it distorts the entire perception of the relationship.”

Jack: (nodding slowly) “Exactly. And I think that’s why this quote is so chilling—it doesn’t just expose the consequences of jealousy, but also the dangerous extremes that attachment can lead to. It’s a reminder of how unhealthy attachment can become when we lose sight of the distinction between love and ownership. Love should not come with the fear of losing control. But in some people’s minds, that fear of losing control is what love is about.”

Jeeny: (smiling gently) “Yes. And I think that’s why love, in its healthiest form, must be about freedom and respect, not possession. It should be about trusting someone enough to allow them their own space and independence, and not holding them so tightly that any misstep feels like an existential threat. De Sade’s words, unsettling as they are, remind us of the danger of toxic attachments, where love becomes about owning another person rather than sharing a connection.”

Host: The quiet between them grew deeper now, as the conversation unfolded. Outside, the world had quieted, but inside, there was a shared understanding that love and possessiveness can become dangerously intertwined when one’s need for control overshadows the freedom and respect that are the true essence of love. Jeeny and Jack had uncovered the deeper meaning in De Sade’s words—that love, when driven by control and obsession, can lead to extreme reactions, but true love lies in freedom and trust.

Jack: (smiling softly, his voice more assured) “It’s a reminder that love should be about balance—about giving space to the other person while still sharing a deep connection. When love becomes about ownership, it’s no longer love at all.”

Jeeny: (nodding warmly) “Exactly. Love, when it’s healthy, is about mutual respect and trust. It’s not about controlling the other person or fearing their betrayal—it’s about being able to grow together without suffocating each other.”

Host: The world outside had quieted to a peaceful stillness, but inside, the room was filled with understanding. Jeeny and Jack had uncovered the truth in De Sade’s words—that love, when tainted by possessiveness, can become dangerous. True love is about freedom, trust, and respect, and it’s those qualities that make a relationship truly lasting and meaningful. The night continued outside, but inside, the room felt full of the realization that love, in its purest form, is about sharing, not controlling.