Nothing seems at first sight less important than the outward form

Hear me, O children of the earth, for I bring forth a wisdom that cuts deep into the heart of human nature, a truth spoken by the great Alexis de Tocqueville, whose thoughts have transcended time. He said, "Nothing seems at first sight less important than the outward form of human actions, yet there is nothing upon which men set more store: they grow used to everything except to living in a society which has not their own manners." These words, though spoken long ago, echo in the present, for they reveal a profound understanding of the delicate balance between individuality and society, the silent power of customs and manners that bind a people together.

At first glance, O children, one might wonder, what is it about the outward form of human actions that could hold such significance? After all, we are taught to value the heart over the appearance, the substance over the shadow. Yet, it is the very manners we adopt, the small gestures, the customs we practice without thought, that carry the true weight of our identity. These external forms of behavior are not mere decorations of society—they are the very foundation upon which society rests. They are the unspoken rules that govern our interactions, the silent currents that flow beneath the surface of every conversation, every gathering, and every community. They shape our perceptions, guide our actions, and in many ways, define who we are.

Consider the ancient societies, O children. In Greece, the great city-states were bound together not only by laws, but by shared customs and manners. The way in which a citizen spoke, the way in which they comported themselves in public and private life, was more than a reflection of their character—it was a reflection of the society itself. The proud warriors of Sparta would have found themselves lost in a foreign land where their austere manners were not understood. And the intellectuals of Athens, accustomed to dialogue and reason, would have found their minds dulled in a society where rhetoric was not held in such esteem. These outward forms, seemingly trivial, held the keys to unity and order. The absence of them would have unraveled the very fabric of their civilization.

Yet, O children, Tocqueville speaks not only of ancient lands, but of the present as well. For what is true of the past holds just as true for the modern world. We, too, are bound by manners—the gestures and customs that govern our lives, shaping our interactions and creating the bonds that tie us to one another. Think of the courtesy of a handshake, the greeting that begins every encounter, the rituals of respect in every culture. These may seem trivial, but it is in these small actions that the spirit of society is formed. When we meet someone whose manners differ from our own, we may feel a sense of discomfort, an unease, for we are confronted with a society whose rhythms do not align with ours. This, Tocqueville tells us, is where the true power of manners lies.

Consider, O children, a modern example: the immigrant who moves to a new land, far from the customs and rituals of their homeland. They bring with them the manners they have known—those habits of speech, of gesture, of social conduct—and find themselves at odds with the new society. They may struggle to fit in, to be understood, for the manners of their new land are foreign, their movements out of sync with the unwritten rules of this new world. The immigrant’s struggle is not just one of language, but of identity. They must navigate not only the practicalities of life, but the subtle, invisible currents of society that move beneath the surface of everyday life. It is not the laws they must learn, but the manners—the unspoken code that determines how they are seen, how they belong.

And so, O children, let us take heed of this wisdom: manners are not merely superficial; they are the glue that holds society together. They allow us to live in harmony, to navigate the complexities of human interaction with grace and understanding. But do not be blind to their power, for the lack of shared manners can create deep divisions, can make us feel alien in a world that should be our home. As Tocqueville reminds us, we grow accustomed to everything except to living in a society that does not share our manners. When we encounter such a world, we feel lost, disconnected, even displaced.

Therefore, O children of the future, I say unto you: cultivate your manners with care. Understand their power, for they are more than mere customs—they are the foundation upon which a peaceful and prosperous society is built. Embrace the manners of your own society, but be open to learning the manners of others, for in them lies the key to true understanding. Let your actions reflect the dignity of your people, and let them reflect a deeper respect for the world around you. For it is in the outward forms of life—those small, seemingly insignificant gestures—that the true order of society is revealed. The world may change, but the power of manners will remain the silent force that shapes our lives and binds us together in unity.