One of the things I discover a lot in marriage counseling is the

Hear, O children of wisdom, the words of Max Lucado, a shepherd of souls, who spoke with tender caution: “One of the things I discover a lot in marriage counseling is the husband or wife trying to get their spiritual thirst quenched by their partner; I think that's a real common mistake that we make.” In this saying lies a truth deeper than the seas and higher than the skies: no mortal heart can satisfy the eternal thirst of another. For there are longings in the human spirit that only the Divine can fill, and to place that burden upon one’s spouse is to invite sorrow, disappointment, and disillusion.

The meaning of these words is clear: marriage is not meant to replace the soul’s fountain but to accompany it. When one husband or wife seeks in their partner the answer to their every longing, they demand more than flesh and blood can give. This is the error Lucado warns against, for in such expectations marriages bend and break. Love between partners is holy and noble, yet it is but one stream among many; the river of spiritual fulfillment flows not from human hands but from the Source of all being.

Consider the tale of Saint Augustine, a man who sought satisfaction in ambition, pleasure, and even relationships, only to confess in his writings: “Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” His life is a mirror to Lucado’s teaching. Had Augustine demanded his beloved to quench his restless spirit, she would have failed, and resentment would have grown. Only when he turned his thirst to the Eternal did his soul find peace. And in that peace, he learned to love others rightly, without devouring them with unmet need.

In the bonds of marriage, this truth is vital. A husband may love his wife, a wife may love her husband, but if either seeks from the other the fulfillment of their spiritual thirst, they will find themselves parched. One may long for purpose, for meaning, for wholeness—yet these are not gifts one spouse can fully give to the other. A partner may offer support, encouragement, and companionship, but they cannot be the well from which eternal waters flow. Only the Divine, or the inner work of the soul with its Maker, can do this.

This does not diminish the beauty of marriage; rather, it strengthens it. For when two souls drink from the fountain of the Eternal, they are less likely to drain one another dry. They stand side by side as pilgrims refreshed by the same living stream. Their love grows not from desperation, but from abundance. Instead of demanding from one another what cannot be given, they share the overflow of a deeper joy. Thus their union becomes resilient, able to withstand the storms of life.

The lesson, therefore, is simple yet profound: do not lay upon your spouse the weight of your soul’s eternal hunger. Seek first the waters that come from above, through prayer, through contemplation, through service, or through the disciplines of the spirit. When your thirst is quenched at its true source, you will bring peace, patience, and love into your marriage rather than expectation, disappointment, and blame.

So, children of tomorrow, live thus: love your partner deeply, but do not demand that they be your savior. Walk together, hand in hand, yet turn your gaze upward when your soul cries for more than mortal love can give. Drink from the fountain of truth, let your spirit be filled, and then give freely to the one beside you. In this way, your marriage will not be a battlefield of unmet needs, but a garden of shared strength, watered by the eternal spring. For in remembering this, you will know the secret of lasting love, and your union will echo the harmony of heaven itself.