Parenting is a rollercoaster of baloney with no instruction

Hear now the words of Ulrika Jonsson, who with disarming honesty declares: “Parenting is a rollercoaster of baloney with no instruction manual. We just have to do our best.” Within this lighthearted phrasing lies a truth of ancient weight: that the path of parenting is unpredictable, filled with chaos and contradiction, and yet also noble in its demand for perseverance, humility, and love. It is a journey of uncertainty, where no map is given, and the only compass is the parent’s heart.

The origin of this insight is found in the lived experience of every generation. For no matter the time or place, parents have always stood at the threshold of the unknown. Children do not come with scrolls of wisdom attached, nor do the gods whisper daily instructions into the ears of mothers and fathers. Instead, parents stumble, falter, rejoice, and weep—learning as they go, guided by instinct, trial, and error. Jonsson’s imagery of a rollercoaster captures this perfectly: sudden plunges, dizzying turns, moments of terror, and moments of exhilaration, all bound together in a single ride that cannot be exited once begun.

History offers us countless examples. Consider Queen Victoria, who bore nine children amidst the burdens of empire. Though she wielded immense power, she often confessed confusion and frustration at the demands of motherhood. Despite her resources and advisors, she faced the same unpredictability that all parents do. Her story illustrates Jonsson’s point: wealth, rank, or intelligence do not provide an instruction manual. Parenting humbles all, reminding us that even rulers must learn by doing.

The emotional truth of Jonsson’s words also lies in the admission of imperfection. Parents often burden themselves with guilt for not knowing enough, not doing enough, or not being enough. Yet her words lift this weight, reminding us that perfection is neither expected nor possible. The call is not to mastery, but to sincerity—to “do our best,” even in confusion, even in messiness. This is a deeply liberating truth: love and effort, though imperfect, are enough to sustain the sacred bond between parent and child.

In practical terms, her teaching encourages resilience and perspective. Parents should expect the journey to be wild and unpredictable, rather than striving for control. They should embrace flexibility, laughter, and humility, recognizing that the so-called “baloney” of parenting—the tantrums, the misunderstandings, the chaos—is part of the shared humanity of raising children. By reframing hardship as part of the natural course, parents free themselves from shame and focus on the essentials: love, presence, and persistence.

There is also a heroic dimension hidden within her humor. To step onto the rollercoaster of parenting is to accept vulnerability, surrendering the illusion of control. It is to admit that one will be shaken, tested, and thrown into situations never before faced. Yet in enduring this ride with patience and courage, parents display a heroism greater than that of warriors and kings—for they fight not for conquest, but for the growth of the next generation.

From this reflection arises a clear lesson: let all parents remember that confusion and imperfection are not signs of failure, but of humanity. Let them strive not for flawless execution, but for love made visible in daily acts—listening, comforting, guiding, and forgiving. And let them approach the journey with humility and humor, knowing that in “doing their best,” they fulfill the highest calling of all.

Thus, Ulrika Jonsson’s words endure: parenting has no manual, only the courage of imperfect love. Let future generations take comfort in this truth, and face the rollercoaster not with fear, but with patience, laughter, and unwavering devotion. For in the end, the ride is wild, but the destination is sacred.