People confuse ego, lust, insecurity with true love.

Hear the penetrating words of Simon Cowell, the judge and critic, who once said: “People confuse ego, lust, insecurity with true love.” In this declaration, Cowell speaks to a confusion that has plagued the human heart for centuries — the distortion of love by forces that masquerade as its true form. In the world today, many claim to love, but too often it is not love they offer, but ego, lust, or insecurity. These are the masks that disguise the pure, selfless power of true love. What Cowell reveals is the shadowy nature of human attachment — how easily we are fooled into believing that what we feel is love when it is, in truth, something far less noble.

Ego, lust, and insecurity are the forces that bind us in the chains of selfishness. Ego, that inflated sense of self, often seeks validation through others. It desires praise, admiration, and the feeling of superiority. Lust is the fire of desire that burns with urgency, but lacks the deep, enduring warmth of genuine affection. Insecurity arises from fear — fear of being unworthy, of being alone, of being incomplete. These forces, while they may mimic love in their intensity, cannot sustain the soul. For love is not about the self, the body, or the fear of loss — it is about the sacrifice, the giving, and the unity of hearts.

The origin of this confusion is ancient, for the heart of man has long struggled to discern true love from the distractions of the world. The Greek philosophers, especially Socrates and Plato, warned of the dangers of desire — how it often leads us away from the true essence of love and traps us in the pursuit of fleeting satisfaction. Socrates spoke of the need for self-examination to know what we truly value, while Plato in his writings emphasized that true love is not rooted in physical attraction, but in the spiritual connection between two souls. The love they spoke of was eternal, free from ego or lust, and focused on the development of the self and the other. Even in their time, the confusion between superficial and true love was evident — a struggle still echoed in Cowell’s words.

Consider, too, the life of Cleopatra. She was adored, desired, and pursued by many powerful men, including Julius Caesar and Mark Antony. Yet, her relationships were often entangled with ego and political ambition, rather than true affection. Caesar saw in her an ally in his quest for dominance, while Antony’s passion for her was at times overshadowed by his own insecurity and lust for power. While their love for her may have been intense, it was also fraught with the distractions of personal ambition and self-interest. Their stories are a poignant reminder that even the greatest loves in history are often clouded by the very forces that Cowell warns against. True love, in its most powerful form, transcends these shadows and is rooted in mutual respect and deep spiritual connection.

Throughout history, we find examples of love that transcends ego, lust, and insecurity. Mahatma Gandhi’s love for India was a love not of self-interest, but of service. He gave up his own desires, his personal comfort, and even his safety, not for gain, but for the greater good of his people. He loved India not for what it could give him, but for the love he felt for the land and its people. True love, as Gandhi showed us, is a force that serves others without selfishness or pride. It is a love born from compassion and sacrifice, not from desire or insecurity.

Cowell’s insight calls us to examine the love we give and the love we receive. Are we loving because it feeds our ego? Are we chasing affection out of lust, or are we seeking a connection born of mutual understanding and selfless care? The ancient wisdom is clear: true love is not transactional. It does not seek to dominate or possess. It does not come with conditions. It is not fleeting, nor does it vanish when the object of affection changes. True love endures, transcending the physical, the egoic, and the selfish. It is bound in understanding, sacrifice, and the quiet strength that comes from sharing one’s life with another not for personal gain, but for the good of the other.

So, let this be your teaching, O seeker of wisdom: love with clarity, not confusion. Free yourself from the chains of ego, lust, and insecurity that seek to cloud your heart. Know that true love is not about what you can take, but what you can give. It is not about control, but about connection. It is not about ownership, but about unity. When you love, love without condition, without expectation, and without the need to fulfill your own desires. Give yourself wholly, and in return, receive the love that transcends all things.

For truly, as Simon Cowell said, “People confuse ego, lust, insecurity with true love.” The key to understanding love is to know that true love asks nothing in return. It is a gift freely given, not an exchange based on need or desire. Live in this truth, and you will discover the love that lasts beyond time, beyond ego, and beyond fear.