People who choose not to have kids do so because they respect

When Meghan Daum declared: “People who choose not to have kids do so because they respect the job of parenting so much that they know not to take it on if they know it's not something that they're up for, and I don't know what to be a bigger tribute to parenting than that,” she spoke with a wisdom that pierces both pride and judgment. In these words, she honors the sacred weight of parenting, reminding us that it is not merely a natural step in life but a calling — one that should be entered with reverence, not with carelessness. Her voice lifts up those who, by refusing the role, actually show profound respect for its enormity.

The origin of this truth lies in the recognition that throughout history, many have treated childbearing as inevitability rather than choice. Yet Daum’s reflection teaches us that to parent is not merely to produce life, but to shape it with unrelenting devotion. Those who decline this role are not rejecting life, but acknowledging that the work of parenting is too vast to be undertaken lightly. This acknowledgment itself becomes an act of honor, for it declares: This duty is so great that I dare not take it up unless I am prepared to give all that it requires.

History gives us echoes of this thought. Consider the celibate orders of monks and nuns across centuries, who chose not to bring forth children of their own. Their decision was not from disdain of parenthood, but from reverence for its weight and from their desire to serve humanity in other ways. In their restraint, they honored the magnitude of raising children, recognizing that it requires a full heart, a full presence, and a lifelong devotion. Like Daum’s insight, their choice was not abandonment, but tribute.

Her words are deeply emotional, for they turn the gaze of respect toward those often judged harshly by society. In many cultures, those who choose not to have children are accused of selfishness or incompleteness. But Daum reframes the choice, revealing it as an act of humility and integrity. To admit, “This path is not for me, for I could not walk it rightly,” is not weakness, but courage. It is a recognition that the role of parent is too sacred to be entered into without readiness of heart, mind, and soul.

The wisdom here is also heroic, for it elevates the act of restraint to the level of sacrifice. Just as the warrior who lays down his sword rather than fight an unjust war shows honor, so too the one who lays aside parenthood because they know they cannot fulfill its duties shows reverence. Parenting requires endless nights, self-denial, endurance, and the constant pouring out of love. To step aside from this is not to diminish its value, but to proclaim it loudly: This is no small task. This is one of the greatest tasks of all.

The lesson is clear: respect must flow both ways. Those who take up the mantle of parenthood must recognize its immensity and devote themselves fully, and those who do not must be honored for their honesty and their tribute to the task. In either path, reverence for parenting stands at the center — whether by embodying it, or by stepping aside in acknowledgment of its demands. What matters most is not that all walk the same road, but that all honor the road for what it truly is: sacred, demanding, transformative.

Practical actions must follow: parents must remember daily that their work is immense, and they must not cheapen it by comparing themselves to others or treating it lightly. Those who are not parents must cast off shame, remembering that their decision is not a denial of life’s purpose but a recognition of its seriousness. And all of society must learn to hold both groups in respect, for both embody reverence for the future — one through sacrifice, the other through devotion.

So let Meghan Daum’s words stand as an ancient teaching: to honor parenting is not only to do it, but to recognize its weight. Those who choose it must carry it with humility and strength; those who choose against it must be honored for their tribute to its enormity. For in both choices lies respect, and in respect lies wisdom, and in wisdom lies the path by which generations flourish.