Practically all the relationships I know are based on a

“Practically all the relationships I know are based on a foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusion.” Thus spoke Kim Cattrall, a woman of sharp insight and worldly grace, whose words pierce like a mirror reflecting the hidden chambers of the human heart. Though born of the modern age, this quote carries the ancient weight of truth—that much of what we call love, friendship, or harmony is not built upon honesty, but upon illusion. We craft masks for one another and call them connection. We tell ourselves stories about who we are, and who they are, until the stories become more real than the souls beneath them. And thus, most relationships do not stand upon truth, but upon mutual agreement to pretend.

Cattrall’s words are not a condemnation of love, but a lamentation for its frailty. She unveils what the ancients already knew: that the human heart often fears truth more than it fears pain. For truth demands that we see not only the light, but the shadow—that we confront jealousy, insecurity, pride, and longing. It is easier, then, to build a house of comforting falsehoods and call it peace. But as the philosopher Plato taught, those who dwell in the cave mistake the shadows for reality. They grow accustomed to their delusions, and when the light of honesty breaks in, they avert their eyes, crying out as if struck.

Think of the story of Cleopatra and Mark Antony, whose passion blazed across empires. Their love, though fierce, was also a tapestry of illusion—woven of power, flattery, and political dream. They told themselves they could rule the world together, that their love was beyond the reach of Rome, beyond consequence. But reality, like the tide, rose to meet them. The empire they defied swallowed them whole, and their legend became a cautionary flame for all who mistake passion for permanence. Their downfall was not born of lack of love, but of mutually accepted delusion—the belief that desire can rewrite truth.

In every age, mankind repeats this folly. Lovers promise eternal fidelity when their hearts are restless; friends pretend at loyalty while harboring envy; even families construct façades of harmony while the roots decay beneath. These are the lies we agree to live by—the gentle ones, the ones that make life bearable. Yet Cattrall’s wisdom calls us to ask: at what cost? For when the storms of time come, the structures built on deceit crumble into dust, and only what was real—however small, however flawed—remains standing.

But there is another layer to her insight. She speaks not only of lies between people, but of the delusions we share with ourselves. We tell ourselves that our partner will change, that love alone will heal all wounds, that comfort is happiness and silence is peace. We imagine we are truthful beings when, in truth, we fear truth itself. This, too, is a mutually accepted delusion—the quiet pact between self and society that keeps the fragile machinery of emotion running smoothly. The ancients might have called it maya, the illusion that binds the soul to the world.

And yet, Cattrall’s words need not lead us to cynicism, but to awakening. For once we see the falsehoods, we gain the power to seek what is real. To love without illusion is to love with courage—to see another’s flaws and still stay; to reveal one’s own darkness and not hide. This kind of honesty is rare, but it is the only kind that endures. The wise learn to trade delusion for depth, appearances for truth. They understand that reality, though sometimes harsh, is the only soil where love can take root and grow strong.

Therefore, my children of the heart, remember this teaching: the greatest act of love is to see and be seen, without disguise. Do not build your relationships upon the sand of convenience or the fog of illusion. Let your words be honest, your promises deliberate, your affections sincere. For lies, even gentle ones, rot the foundation; but truth, even painful truth, strengthens it. Seek companions who do not fear your truth, and do not fear theirs in return.

So, when you hear Kim Cattrall’s bold confession, do not despair. Hear instead the challenge hidden within: to wake up. To love not as the world teaches—with masks, pretenses, and comforting fantasies—but as the soul demands—with truth, courage, and the light of understanding. For though illusion is easy, it is truth that makes love immortal. And those who dare to love in truth will find, at last, that delusion fades, but authentic connection endures beyond time.