Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the

“Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.” — so spoke Margaret Lee Runbeck, a writer of quiet observation and gentle wisdom. Her words unfold like a soft breeze across the heart, revealing the sacred truth that friendship is not always built upon the clamor of speech, but upon the peace that lies beneath it. For there is a kind of understanding between souls so deep that words become unnecessary — a communion of spirit where silence speaks with greater honesty than sound.

In this quote, Runbeck reminds us that the highest form of friendship is not one filled with constant talk, but one where silence itself becomes a shared language. Many speak easily together when laughter flows or when the air is filled with stories. But it is only between true friends that quiet feels like comfort, not emptiness. Such silence is not the absence of connection — it is its proof. When two hearts can sit together in stillness, feeling no need to perform or explain, they have reached that rare harmony of souls that poets and philosophers call understanding.

Think of the friendship between Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau. The two often walked through the woods of Concord, saying little as they observed the wind on the leaves or the light upon the pond. They did not need to fill the air with words, for their thoughts moved in the same rhythm, their spirits attuned to the same truth. The silence between them was not an absence of conversation, but its purest form — a communion of minds that transcended speech. In that quiet, they both found the sacred — a mirror of friendship that mirrored the stillness of nature itself.

The meaning of Runbeck’s words stretches beyond companionship; it touches the essence of trust. To be silent with someone and feel no fear of being misunderstood — that is a rare and holy gift. In a world overflowing with noise, opinions, and endless chatter, to find a soul with whom silence feels natural is to find peace itself. Words are often used to conceal, to persuade, or to impress — but silence reveals. It strips away all pretense, leaving only what is true. It says: I know you, and you know me; we need no explanation.

And yet, not all silence is sacred. Between strangers, silence can be awkward; between enemies, it can be sharp and cold. But between friends, it becomes tender — filled with invisible meaning. A shared glance, a sigh, the simple act of being together — these things say what a thousand sentences could not. For it is not the saying, as Runbeck tells us, but the never needing to say, that reveals the depth of friendship. Words are for those who seek to understand; silence is for those who already do.

In our time, when friendship is often measured by messages sent and calls returned, this wisdom becomes ever more precious. We are taught that connection requires constant conversation — that silence means distance or neglect. But the truest friendships, the ones that endure years and storms, are those that rest easily in the quiet spaces between words. They do not demand attention; they trust in presence. When time and distance separate such friends, the bond remains, because their hearts learned long ago to speak without sound.

The lesson, then, is this: do not fear silence in friendship — cherish it. When you sit beside someone you love, let words rest. Listen to the wind, to the breathing of the world, and to the stillness that binds you. Let the quiet teach you that friendship is not measured by talk, but by peace. Be the friend who does not rush to fill every pause, but who offers presence instead of performance. For in that stillness, you will discover the kind of bond that even time cannot unmake.

And so, remember Margaret Lee Runbeck’s wisdom: in friendship, the real conversation is not carried by the tongue but by the heart. The truest love between friends is not heard, but felt — like the hush of dawn between mountains, or the breathless calm before the stars appear. When you can sit with another soul and say nothing, yet feel everything, then you have found what the ancients called philia — the friendship of equals, of hearts that speak through silence, as eternity itself does.