Some people are your relatives but others are your ancestors
Some people are your relatives but others are your ancestors, and you choose the ones you want to have as ancestors. You create yourself out of those values.
Hearken, O seekers of wisdom and lineage, to the words of Ralph Ellison, the chronicler of the human spirit: "Some people are your relatives but others are your ancestors, and you choose the ones you want to have as ancestors. You create yourself out of those values." In this utterance lies the ancient teaching that identity is both inherited and chosen, that the soul may honor not only the flesh from which it springs, but the values and virtues it elects to embody.
In the unfolding tapestry of life, many bear the title of relative, bound by blood yet not necessarily by resonance. Ellison illuminates the truth that our spiritual lineage—the ancestors we adopt in thought, in practice, in moral vision—is selected consciously. These chosen figures, whether living or departed, guide our footsteps and shape the architecture of the self, for character is crafted not by mere heredity, but by the deliberate embrace of values that uplift and illuminate.
The ancients spoke often of this sacred power of choice. One may descend from a line of kings or philosophers, yet without the conscious absorption of their wisdom, the lineage remains dormant. Conversely, one may take as ancestors those whose lives exemplify courage, compassion, or insight, weaving their legacy into the very fibers of one’s own being. In this lies the profound alchemy of human formation: the selection of moral and spiritual ancestry to cultivate the self.
Yet this teaching carries subtle weight: to choose one’s ancestors is to embrace responsibility, to walk consciously in the path of values rather than fate alone. Ellison reminds us that self-creation is an active labor, a sacred dialogue between past and present, between the blood of birth and the soul’s longing for excellence. Each choice, each adopted virtue, becomes a stone in the edifice of one’s character, a testament to discernment and purpose.
Therefore, O children of thought and spirit, let this teaching lodge in your hearts: while relatives may be given by fortune, ancestors are chosen by wisdom. In selecting those whose lives and values inspire, one molds the self, erecting a lineage of the soul that transcends mere genealogy. In such conscious creation, the human spirit finds both freedom and continuity, honoring the past while shaping a legacy worthy of the ages.
HVHau Vu
Ellison’s quote is a profound reflection on personal growth and identity. The notion that we can select the values we want to inherit gives us control over our own narrative. It’s about honoring the past but not being constrained by it. How does this play into modern ideas of family? Can someone choose values from people outside their immediate circle, and if so, what does that mean for family dynamics and identity?
THTrang Hoang
There’s something so empowering about this quote—it suggests that we are not bound by the past. Instead, we can actively choose which ancestors, or influences, we want to adopt into our lives. This idea goes beyond genetics; it’s about selecting values that resonate with us. Could this be a call to break free from traditional family expectations and build your own ‘ancestry’ based on personal beliefs and aspirations?
AKHo Anh Kiet
I’ve always felt that our legacy isn’t just shaped by who we’re born to, but by the values we decide to uphold. Ralph Ellison’s quote reminds us that we have the power to create ourselves by the people and ideas we choose to embrace. Does this mean we can redefine our heritage, or is there always something inherently tied to where we come from? What do you think—can you truly reinvent your lineage?
NCNguyen Tran Nguyet Cam
This quote hits home for me. It’s not just about where you come from, but about where you’re going and who you choose to be influenced by. Our ancestors are often seen as those who lived before us, but in this context, it’s more about who we allow to guide our choices today. Can you think of someone, maybe not related to you, whose values you’ve chosen to adopt as your own?
HPHa Phuong
Ralph Ellison’s words are powerful because they challenge the idea that family defines us. What if, instead of just inheriting the past, we consciously select the traits and values we want to embody? Are we, then, in control of our own legacy? I’ve always believed that who we choose to look up to shapes us more than who we are related to. Do you think it’s possible to truly reshape your identity this way?