The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust

Host: The evening had settled in, the café now bathed in the soft light of overhead lamps. Outside, the night had deepened, and the occasional splash of rain against the windows was a quiet reminder of the world moving on. Inside, Jeeny and Jack sat together, their cups of coffee resting on the table between them. The sounds of the city outside felt distant, muted by the warmth of the room and the intensity of their conversation.

Jeeny, her fingers lightly tracing the edge of her cup, glanced at Jack, her expression thoughtful before speaking.

Jeeny: “I came across something by Ernest Hemingway today. He said, ‘The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.’ What do you think about that?”

Jack: He raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a faint smile. “That sounds pretty straightforward, doesn’t it? Trust someone, and you’ll find out if they’re worthy of it. But it’s easier said than done, right? You can’t just trust anyone—people take advantage of trust, especially when it’s given too freely.”

Host: The air between them seemed to grow heavier as the conversation deepened, the drizzle outside adding a soft rhythm to the quiet of the café. Jeeny, though, wasn’t deterred by Jack’s skepticism. She leaned forward slightly, her voice steady and calm.

Jeeny: “I don’t think Hemingway means to trust blindly. He’s talking about giving someone the opportunity to prove themselves. Trust isn’t something that’s just handed out—it’s something that’s earned, and the only way to see if someone is worthy of it is to give them the chance. If we don’t trust others, we keep them at a distance, and we never really know if we can rely on them.”

Jack: “But what if you give someone that chance and they fail you? What if trusting them only ends up hurting you in the end?”

Host: The rain had begun to fall a little harder now, its sound almost like a soft backdrop to the intensity of their words. Jeeny’s expression remained calm, her voice unwavering as she responded, clearly challenging Jack’s perspective.

Jeeny: “That’s the risk, isn’t it? Trusting means opening yourself up to vulnerability. But without it, how do you build a true connection? You can’t live in fear of being hurt—because you’ll never know what’s possible. Yes, trusting someone might lead to disappointment, but it’s also the only way to truly find out what a relationship is built on. If you never trust, you’ll never know if that person can be trusted. It’s a leap, but it’s the only way forward.”

Jack: “So, you’re saying that disappointment is just part of the process? That trust is worth the risk, even if it might backfire?”

Jeeny: “Yes. Trusting is about giving people the chance to prove who they are, and sometimes, it works out. Sometimes, it doesn’t. But if you don’t trust, you close yourself off from the possibility of true connection. The risk is part of the journey. If you hold back out of fear, you’ll never experience the kind of trust that deepens relationships, that allows you to grow with someone else.”

Host: The café had grown quieter, the city outside now a blurred reflection in the window. The conversation had shifted from skepticism to something deeper, a shared understanding between them that the vulnerability of trust was necessary for connection. Jack’s usual guard had softened, replaced by a new understanding of what it meant to trust—and the strength that came from choosing to do so.

Jack: “I see your point. Trust isn’t just about the other person—it’s about being willing to open yourself up. Even if there’s a chance of getting hurt, it’s the only way to build something real.”

Jeeny: “Exactly. Without trust, you’re just holding back, waiting for someone to prove they’re worthy. But to truly connect, you have to take that step, even if it means risking vulnerability.”

Host: The rain had quieted again, leaving behind a stillness that wrapped around them like a shared moment of clarity. In the glow of the café’s warm light, Jack and Jeeny sat in a quiet understanding, realizing that trust—though it carried risk—was the foundation of any true connection. It wasn’t about knowing someone would never hurt you; it was about giving them the chance to prove who they were, and in doing so, embracing the possibility of something deeper, more genuine. The world outside had gone still, but inside, the conversation had opened a new perspective, one that understood the value of trust in the most vulnerable spaces.