The idea of a soulmate is beautiful and very romantic to talk

“The idea of a soulmate is beautiful and very romantic to talk about in a movie or a song, but in reality, I find it scary.” So spoke Vanessa Paradis, and her words, though simple, open a door into the deepest chambers of the human heart. For the notion of a soulmate has long been cherished as the highest dream of love—that somewhere in the vast expanse of time, there exists one soul who was made for us, whose presence completes us as the moon completes the night sky. Yet, beneath this dream lies a shadow, a fear as ancient as longing itself: what if destiny holds only one such person, and what if we fail to find them?

In the myths of old, Plato spoke of humanity once being whole, split apart by the gods, each half destined to wander in search of its missing other. This tale gave birth to the vision of the soulmate, a story sung by poets and whispered by lovers. But while the myth is sweet to the ear and intoxicating to the heart, it carries with it a burden heavy and cruel. To believe that only one person in all the world can complete us is to bind our fate to chance, to risk despair if fortune does not align. Thus, what seems like the most romantic of ideals can, in truth, become the most scary of prisons.

Consider the story of Helena of Troy and Paris, a love hailed as destined, as if they were true soulmates chosen by the gods. Their passion was immortalized by poets, yet it birthed not joy, but war. Their union, though fiery, left thousands dead and kingdoms in ruin. Here is the paradox Paradis warns of: the idea of a soulmate, when worshiped too highly, can become destructive, blinding us to reality and chaining us to an image of love that consumes rather than nurtures.

And yet, the yearning for a soulmate endures. We adorn it in songs, in films, in the stories we tell our children. Why? Because the heart longs for meaning in love, for the sense that relationships are not accidents but sacred bonds. To dream of the one true other is to dream of being fully known, fully accepted, fully cherished. The dream is not false—it is simply dangerous when mistaken for destiny rather than possibility. The danger lies in believing that love is fated rather than cultivated, that it must be found rather than built.

To be a romantic is to hold the dream tenderly, but wisdom demands balance. Paradis reveals the wisdom of caution: that the ideal of a soulmate, if clung to too tightly, can lead us into fear, disappointment, or despair. But if we hold it loosely, as inspiration rather than law, it can still guide us toward deeper intimacy, reminding us to seek relationships where souls meet, where hearts grow together, even if they were not predestined by the gods.

History itself bears witness to this truth. Think of Eleanor Roosevelt and Franklin Delano Roosevelt. By many measures, theirs was not the union of perfect soulmates. Their marriage faced betrayal, distance, and hardship. Yet from their struggles arose a bond of resilience, mutual respect, and shared destiny that shaped a nation. They were not “made for each other” in the mystical sense, but they became essential to one another through years of courage and work. Their story shows that love need not be born from fate—it can be forged by will, devotion, and time.

Thus the teaching is clear: do not tremble before the scary shadow of the soulmate myth. Instead, cherish the beauty of the idea as one cherishes poetry—moving, uplifting, but not binding. Do not wait for destiny to deliver you a perfect half; rather, build love with those who are willing to walk beside you. For in truth, soulmates are not found; they are made, crafted by patience, honesty, and the daily choosing of one another.

Practical action flows from this lesson: treasure the dream of deep connection, but release the fear that only one soul can fulfill it. Seek partners who awaken your growth, who challenge and inspire you, and give yourself wholly to the journey of becoming soulmates through shared life. In this way, you honor both the romantic beauty of the dream and the grounded wisdom of reality, and you will find a love both fearless and enduring.