The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by

The American columnist and wit Earl Wilson, ever keen to capture the shifting winds of society, once observed: “The man who didn’t want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.” In this quip lies a history of change, a reflection of how the roles of women, of men, and of marriage itself evolved in the modern age. It is at once humorous and profound, for it reveals how necessity, culture, and progress transformed what once was seen as scandal into what later became celebrated.

The meaning of this quote lies in its contrast between two eras. There was once a time when a husband’s pride was measured by his wife’s freedom from labor. To work outside the home was considered a mark of shame for him, a sign that he could not provide. But Wilson shows us that times changed: the modern man not only accepts his wife’s work but looks to her as a partner in prosperity, even inquiring about her raise. What was once resisted became desired; what was once taboo became strength. The joke rests in irony, but the truth is deeply serious—society had shifted, and with it, the meaning of manhood and partnership.

History gives us vivid testimony. In the years of the Second World War, countless women stepped into factories, farms, and offices while their husbands and brothers went to the front lines. “Rosie the Riveter” became the symbol of a new kind of strength. At first, many thought this was temporary, a wartime necessity. Yet when the men returned, the world had changed. Women had proven their skill, their resilience, and their worth in fields once denied them. Though many were forced back into domestic life, the seed had been planted. Within a generation, the daughters of Rosie would demand not just the right to work, but the right to rise.

The deeper wisdom of Wilson’s words is that progress often begins with resistance. The man who once declared, “My wife will not work,” was speaking not only from pride but from the weight of tradition. Yet tradition, when confronted by reality, bends. Over time, necessity became acceptance, and acceptance became appreciation. The husband who once sought to shield his wife from labor now seeks to honor her achievements within it. The “raise” becomes a symbol not merely of money, but of respect, of equality, of partnership within marriage.

Yet Wilson’s jest also carries a gentle warning. If men once erred by denying women’s right to work, they must not now err by reducing their wives to mere sources of income. A marriage cannot be built on paychecks alone. The true partnership of husband and wife lies not only in shared prosperity but in shared respect, shared burdens, and shared purpose. To celebrate a wife’s raise is noble—but only if it springs from admiration of her talents and acknowledgment of her dignity.

The lesson for us is clear: the measure of love is not control, but partnership. The husband must not seek to confine his wife to the home, nor to exploit her labor, but to walk with her as an equal, to rejoice in her triumphs as in his own. And the wife, likewise, must see her husband not as competitor, but as companion in the journey of life. The “raise,” in its truest sense, is not merely in wages, but in raising each other to greater dignity and mutual respect.

Practical wisdom flows from this: in your homes, celebrate not only financial gain but the growth of each soul. Encourage one another’s ambitions, honor one another’s sacrifices, and guard against the pride that once sought to control or the greed that might now seek to exploit. For marriage, like society, is strongest when both are lifted together.

Thus, let the words of Earl Wilson endure as both jest and truth: “The man who didn’t want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.” In this change we see not only the transformation of custom, but the eternal call to grow in wisdom: to replace control with respect, and to find in partnership the truest form of strength.