The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not

"The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us." So wrote Ashley Montagu, the great humanist and anthropologist, whose understanding of life was both tender and profound. In these few lines, he captures one of the oldest and deepest truths about the human experience—that happiness is not something we can chase or control, but a grace that descends upon us when we are open, humble, and alive to the present. It comes not by conquest, but by surrender; not by demand, but by awareness.

Montagu’s wisdom reminds us that joy is not a possession to be captured, nor a goal to be planned into existence. The modern soul, weary with striving, often believes happiness can be seized—through success, wealth, or recognition. Yet Montagu declares the opposite: it is happiness that seizes us, and always when we least expect it. It comes quietly, like dawn after a sleepless night, when the heart forgets its worries long enough to simply be. For happiness, in its purest form, is a visitor that dwells only where there is stillness, gratitude, and wonder.

To understand this, one must see that happiness is a state of grace, not achievement. It does not appear when life is perfect, but when the soul is awake enough to see perfection in the imperfect. A child’s laughter, the warmth of sunlight, the moment when forgiveness dissolves bitterness—these are the subtle visitations of joy that Montagu speaks of. They cannot be forced, only received. For those who live always chasing happiness will find it forever running ahead of them, while those who live with open hearts will find that happiness walks quietly beside them.

History gives us many who learned this truth through hardship. Consider Helen Keller, who, though deprived of sight and hearing, discovered a world overflowing with beauty. She once said, “I sometimes think I am happier than others.” Her happiness was not seized by grasping at what she lacked, but by embracing what she had. In the darkness and silence of her world, happiness seized her through gratitude, through connection, through the deep awareness of being alive. Her joy, unexpected and radiant, became her strength and her gift to the world.

The origin of Montagu’s insight lies in his lifelong study of humanity—not as a scholar of cold facts, but as a lover of the human condition. He observed that people who tried to dominate life through control and certainty often found themselves anxious and unfulfilled. Yet those who allowed life to flow through them, who welcomed its surprises and sorrows alike, lived with a deeper peace. From this, he learned that joy cannot be commanded—it must be invited. It comes to those who live fully and kindly, who dare to feel, who are not afraid to be vulnerable before the mystery of existence.

This teaching is a gentle but powerful rebuke to our restless age. We are taught to hunt for happiness as though it were prey—hidden somewhere in the next promotion, the next purchase, the next triumph. But true happiness cannot be hunted; it must find us ready. To be “seized” by joy, we must first stop running. We must slow down enough to notice the quiet miracles around us—the scent of rain, the touch of a loved one’s hand, the peace that comes after tears. In these small moments, happiness rises like a tide and fills the soul unbidden.

So, my children of tomorrow, remember this: stop trying to seize happiness as though it were a treasure locked behind doors. Instead, live in such a way that happiness can find you. Be present. Be grateful. Be open to the wonder of simple things. When joy visits, do not question it or clutch it too tightly—let it move through you like sunlight through water. For the more you surrender to it, the more freely it will return.

In the end, Ashley Montagu’s wisdom is not about chasing happiness, but about becoming ready for it. For the moments of true joy—the ones that seize us—are the soul’s reminders that we belong to something larger, something luminous, something eternal. Let your life, then, be open ground for such moments. Live gently, love deeply, and walk through your days with eyes unclouded—and happiness will find you, again and again, when you least expect it.