The real important things are kindness and a sense of humor. I've
The real important things are kindness and a sense of humor. I've been fortunate to have dated and could have easily married women who have those qualities, and time and circumstances didn't work out. Timing plays a big part.
In the grand journey of life, where time stretches out before us like an uncharted road, there are certain truths that stand unshaken by the winds of change—truths that echo through the ages, transcending the fleeting moments of our days. Hill Harper speaks of one such truth when he says, "The real important things are kindness and a sense of humor. I've been fortunate to have dated and could have easily married women who have those qualities, and time and circumstances didn't work out. Timing plays a big part." In these words, Harper reveals the essence of what makes life truly meaningful—not the wealth we accumulate, nor the accolades we receive, but the deep, abiding qualities of the soul: kindness and humor. These, he reminds us, are the true treasures that define the quality of our relationships, and yet, even these precious gifts are subject to the forces of time and circumstance.
The ancients, too, knew well that the heart's deepest desires could not be measured in riches or fame, but in the qualities that bind one soul to another. In the teachings of Socrates, for instance, we find an emphasis on the importance of virtue—kindness being one of the highest. For Socrates, a life of virtue was the path to true happiness. He believed that only through benevolence and a deep sense of humility could one navigate the complexities of life. Similarly, Harper's recognition of kindness as a cornerstone of meaningful relationships reflects an ancient understanding: that what truly nurtures the spirit is not wealth or status, but the grace with which we treat others, the compassion we show, and the love we offer.
But Harper does not stop there; he adds another element to the equation: humor. The ancients also understood that life without laughter would be a life half-lived. Aristotle, in his musings on ethics, noted that a person’s character is often revealed in their ability to laugh and to appreciate the absurdity of life. Humor is the lens through which we see the world’s contradictions without becoming overwhelmed by them. It is the joy that rises even in the midst of suffering, the lightness that accompanies the weight of human existence. Harper's recognition of the power of humor in relationships echoes this ancient wisdom—that laughter is not just a sign of joy, but a reflection of the ability to meet life's challenges with grace, and even delight.
As we consider the timing of life, we are reminded of the Stoic philosophers, who spoke at length about the nature of fate and circumstance. Epictetus taught that we must focus only on what we can control, while accepting the things that fall beyond our grasp. Harper, in acknowledging the role that timing plays in relationships, speaks to this very idea: while kindness and humor are essential qualities that draw us to one another, the unfolding of these connections is often shaped by forces beyond our control. Like Epictetus, we must learn to surrender to the flow of life, understanding that there is much that we cannot dictate, but also much that we can influence through our actions and attitudes.
Consider the story of Alexander the Great, whose great conquests were as much a matter of timing as they were of military prowess. His rise to power was shaped by both his abilities and the circumstances in which he found himself—an opportune moment in history, a series of fortunate events that propelled him forward. Yet, even Alexander, despite his brilliance, could not control the timing of his own fate. So too, Harper teaches us that relationships—whether romantic, familial, or friendly—are subject to the whims of time and circumstance. They cannot be forced into being, no matter how perfect the connection may seem. Instead, we must recognize that timing is as much a part of life’s design as the qualities we bring into our relationships.
The lesson here is one of deep acceptance and patience. Harper reminds us that while we can cultivate the qualities that matter most—kindness and humor—there are forces at play in our lives that are beyond our control. Kindness will draw people to us, and humor will keep our hearts light, but the unfolding of our relationships, the timing of when they enter our lives, and how they evolve, is a matter of circumstance. Life, in its wisdom, does not allow us to dictate every outcome. The best we can do is nurture the virtues within us, show compassion, and learn to embrace the timing of life with grace.
So, as we move through our own journeys, let us take this wisdom into our hearts. Let us seek to embody the qualities of kindness and humor, knowing that these are the true treasures that will sustain us and those around us. But let us also recognize the role of timing—the knowledge that not every relationship is meant to flourish at the moment we desire, and that sometimes, the forces of fate shape our paths in ways we cannot foresee. Like Harper, let us cultivate patience with ourselves and others, trusting that what is meant to be will unfold in its own time. In doing so, we will find peace in the knowledge that our relationships, when they come, will be as rich as the virtues we hold within us.
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