The relation between parents and children is essentially based

The words of Gilbert Highet—“The relation between parents and children is essentially based on teaching.”—speak to the eternal foundation of family and civilization. For at its core, parenting is not merely the provision of food, shelter, and safety, but the transmission of knowledge, wisdom, and virtue. The bond between parent and child is sacred because it is the first school, the first apprenticeship, the first shaping of the soul. Before temples, before universities, before laws were written on tablets of stone, the wisdom of humanity passed from the lips of parents into the hearts of their children.

The ancients knew this truth and revered it. In the wisdom of Confucius, it is said that filial piety is not only obedience but the learning of virtue, taught by the example of parents. In the Hebrew scriptures, parents are commanded to teach their children “when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you rise up.” And in Greece, Socrates himself said that the greatest teacher of virtue is not the philosopher in the marketplace, but the father and mother in the home. Thus, Highet’s words echo across the centuries: teaching is the very essence of the parent–child bond.

History offers us luminous examples. Consider Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome, who in his Meditations recalled with gratitude the lessons he received from his family. From his grandfather, he learned character; from his mother, piety and generosity; from his tutors, discipline and reason. His greatness as a philosopher-king was not born in isolation, but in the teachings impressed upon him by those who guided his youth. This shows us that the future of nations rests not in the strength of armies or the wealth of treasuries, but in the teachings within the household.

Yet, teaching is not always by word. More often, it is by example. The child learns patience when the parent shows patience, honesty when the parent speaks truth, resilience when the parent endures hardship without surrender. Parents may believe their children heed only the spoken command, but in truth, it is the silent teaching of daily conduct that shapes them most deeply. This is why Highet reminds us that the relationship itself is built on teaching—it is not occasional, but constant, as steady as the beating of the heart.

There is also in this quote a reminder of responsibility. If parenting is teaching, then every parent is a teacher, whether they will it or not. Neglect, cruelty, or indifference are also lessons, seared into the memory of the child. To refuse to teach is itself a teaching—a teaching of absence. Thus, every act of a parent is a thread woven into the fabric of a child’s soul. The question is not whether we teach, but what we teach.

The lesson for us is clear: take up the mantle of teaching with intention. Do not wait for schools or society to shape your child—begin in your own home. Teach them virtue by practicing it yourself. Teach them wisdom by sharing your thoughts and listening to theirs. Teach them courage by showing them how to face fear. Above all, teach them love—not by words only, but by acts of kindness, patience, and sacrifice. This is the true inheritance, greater than gold or land, for it equips the child not just for survival, but for life.

Therefore, let your actions be these: be conscious of the lessons you impart each day. Ask yourself, “What is my child learning from me now?” Guide them with words when needed, but even more with your example. Create a home where learning is not a burden but a joy, where questions are welcomed, and where truth is honored. In so doing, you fulfill the sacred role Highet described, building a bridge of teaching that links generations together.

Thus, Gilbert Highet’s words endure as a timeless truth: the relation between parents and children is the first classroom of the human race. To teach is to love, to guide is to serve, and to raise a child is to shape the destiny of the world. Let every parent remember this sacred duty, and let every child cherish the inheritance of wisdom passed down in the quiet, daily teachings of those who came before.