The test of one's behavior pattern is their relationship to

Hear the measured words of Alfred Adler, the great psychologist who sought to understand the human soul not in isolation, but in its bond with the greater whole: “The test of one’s behavior pattern is their relationship to society, relationship to work and relationship to sex.” These words are not the idle musings of theory, but the fruit of a lifetime observing how men and women reveal their character not by what they claim, but by how they live within the three great arenas of human existence. Adler, who turned from Freud’s narrow focus on the unconscious, sought to see the human being as a creature striving for belonging, for usefulness, for love.

The meaning of this truth is deep and enduring. The relationship to society reveals whether a person lives as a parasite or a contributor. Do they build bridges of trust, of cooperation, of service, or do they sow division and exploit the labors of others? A person may possess genius, wealth, or power, but if they cannot stand rightly in relation to their fellow beings, they fail the first test. For without harmony in society, no individual can claim true greatness, for all rise and fall together.

The relationship to work is the second trial. In labor, the soul shows its discipline, its creativity, its endurance. To despise work is to despise one’s own ability to shape the world; to worship it blindly is to become its slave. The noble soul finds balance—taking pride in effort, contributing to the community, and using labor as a path to dignity. History has shown us that civilizations crumble when men shirk their tasks or when labor is divorced from meaning. Work, then, is not merely survival—it is the ground on which the character of the individual is tested.

The third arena is the relationship to sex, for here lies the raw core of intimacy and vulnerability. It is in this bond that selfishness or love, exploitation or tenderness, domination or partnership, are revealed. The way a person treats those they desire shows the truest measure of their spirit. Kings have been destroyed by lust without honor, while others have built dynasties on love founded in respect. Here the soul is tested not by grand speeches but by the quiet truth of how one regards the other in the most private of unions.

History bears witness to Adler’s insight. Consider the life of Mohandas Gandhi. His relationship to society was marked by service, by his struggle for justice and dignity for his people. His relationship to work was one of simplicity and discipline—he spun his own cloth, seeking dignity in labor rather than indulgence in wealth. And his relationship to sex, though complex and controversial, was guided by his striving toward self-mastery and restraint. Whatever one thinks of his choices, Gandhi’s life shows how these three dimensions reveal a soul’s pursuit of meaning and consistency.

Adler’s words remind us that character is not tested in theory, but in practice—in how we live among others, in what we give through our work, in how we love in intimacy. These are the arenas where masks fall away and truth emerges. To fail in all three is to live shallowly; to strive in all three is to walk the path of wholeness.

The lesson for us is clear: examine yourself not by what you wish to be, but by how you stand in these three great relationships. Ask: how do I serve my society? What is my relationship to work—is it noble, or is it avoidance, or greed? And how do I conduct myself in love and desire—do I honor, or do I exploit? By asking these questions, we see ourselves as we truly are, not as we imagine.

Thus remember: the test of behavior is not hidden in books nor locked in the secrets of the mind. It is visible in how you walk among people, how you labor with your hands and mind, and how you unite your heart with another. Adler’s words are a call to live with integrity in every sphere, for only then may the individual stand tall, and only then may society flourish.