The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful

Richard Carlson, seeker of simplicity and teacher of peace, left us this jewel of wisdom: “The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low.” These words, though modern, carry the fragrance of ancient philosophy. They remind us that life is not constant sunshine, nor endless night, but a dance of rising and falling moods. The challenge of the soul is not to escape this rhythm, but to walk wisely through it—lifting gratitude when joy abounds and clothing ourselves in grace when sorrow weighs heavy.

To be grateful when the heart is high is to recognize that joy itself is a gift. Many rejoice when fortune smiles, but few remember to give thanks. Gratitude in moments of happiness is like adding fragrance to the blossom, giving honor to the Giver and deepening the joy that is already present. For when we give thanks in abundance, our joy is not shallow amusement, but a river of meaning flowing through us. Gratitude makes happiness holy.

Yet the second part of Carlson’s wisdom is harder, and nobler still: to be graceful when the spirit is low. Life will wound us; there will be times of failure, betrayal, and despair. In such moments, bitterness tempts the soul, and anger lashes out at others. But to walk with grace when the mood is low is to carry dignity even in defeat, patience even in pain, compassion even in weariness. Grace does not deny suffering, but it refuses to let suffering poison the heart. This is the path of true strength.

History shines with examples of such balance. Consider Nelson Mandela, imprisoned for 27 years. In his darkest moods, he could have yielded to hatred and rage. Yet he chose instead to be graceful, even toward his captors. When freedom came, his grace transformed a nation and healed deep wounds. Likewise, in his high moments of triumph as South Africa’s leader, he remained grateful, giving honor to those who suffered with him and to the power of forgiveness. His life embodied Carlson’s teaching: gratitude in joy, grace in sorrow.

The ancients, too, echoed this truth. The Stoics taught that one must be content in both fortune and misfortune, mastering the self in every season. The Psalmist sang of giving thanks in times of plenty and leaning on mercy in times of famine. Wisdom across all ages agrees: happiness is fleeting, but character is eternal. To be thankful when life is kind and graceful when life is cruel is to live as a soul unbroken by circumstance.

The lesson is clear: measure not your life by moods, which rise and fall like the tide, but by how you carry yourself within them. When joy comes, remember to pause and give thanks, lest pride blind you. When sorrow comes, remember to carry yourself with patience and dignity, lest despair consume you. For moods are temporary, but gratitude and grace are eternal virtues that shape the destiny of the soul.

Practically, we may train ourselves in this art. In moments of joy, whisper thanks aloud—for family, for breath, for the simple gifts of life. In moments of sorrow, choose silence over complaint, kindness over anger, patience over despair. Write blessings in times of joy, and read them in times of grief, so that gratitude sustains grace. In doing so, your life will no longer be ruled by moods but guided by virtues.

Thus, Richard Carlson’s words endure as a gentle yet heroic reminder: be grateful when your mood is high, be graceful when it is low. For this is the trick, the secret, the art of living well. Those who learn it walk through the world with a steady light, unshaken by fortune’s turns, noble in joy, and even more noble in sorrow.