The way you build trust with your people is by being forthright

"The way you build trust with your people is by being forthright and clear with them from day one. You may think people are fooled when you tell them what they want to hear. They are not fooled." These words, spoken by Dick Costolo, carry within them the deep wisdom of truth and honesty—two virtues that have always been the foundation of lasting leadership and meaningful relationships. To lead, to guide, to inspire, is not to speak what is easy or what will placate, but to speak the truth plainly and with clarity, from the very first moment. For when a leader deceives, even in small things, the bond of trust is shattered, and the foundation of their leadership is weakened. Costolo speaks to a universal truth: trust is not a commodity that can be bought with sweet words or half-truths. It is earned through transparency and integrity.

In the ancient world, kings and leaders understood this well. The mighty King Cyrus of Persia, whose empire stretched from the mountains of the East to the shores of the Mediterranean, was known not only for his military brilliance but for his honesty and forthrightness with his people. When he conquered new lands, he did not hide his intentions behind false promises. He was open about the challenges his empire would face and the sacrifices that would be required of his subjects. And in return, the people trusted him. They followed him not out of fear or manipulation but because they knew that when Cyrus spoke, his words were true. His honesty laid the foundation for an empire that, despite its eventual fall, left a legacy of respect and trust in its wake. Costolo’s words echo this ancient wisdom: the path to true leadership lies in clear, honest communication.

Consider also the story of George Washington, the first president of the United States. Washington was not a man who sought to be adored by his people, nor did he seek to give them only what they wanted to hear. In fact, Washington often spoke plainly about the difficulties of the new nation and the sacrifices required to build it. When he led the Continental Army to victory, it was not with empty promises but with clear objectives and the unwavering trust he had earned through his integrity. His leadership was not built on manipulation or deceit, but on the hard, unvarnished truth of the challenges at hand. And thus, Washington earned the loyalty of a nation—not by telling the people what they wanted to hear, but by being forthright, by showing them the path, however difficult it might be.

But what happens when a leader fails to be forthright? What happens when the words spoken are not the truth, but only the words that people wish to hear? The ancient story of Julius Caesar offers a powerful lesson. When Caesar was campaigning in Gaul, he was praised by many for his ability to win battles and bring victories. However, behind the façade of military success lay a deeper and darker truth: Caesar’s political ambitions were growing, and he was willing to manipulate the truth to achieve his ends. In the end, the very people who had once followed him with trust were left questioning his true motives, and in the Senate, his eventual betrayal came from those who once trusted him. His failure to maintain honesty and transparency with those around him contributed to his tragic downfall. Costolo’s warning rings clear: no leader, no matter how powerful, can maintain trust if they deceive those they lead.

In our own lives, we see this lesson play out constantly. We are all leaders in our own right—whether it is in our families, our communities, or our workplaces. Every time we choose the path of honesty, even when it is difficult, we strengthen the bonds of trust with those around us. Every time we speak the truth, we build the foundation for something enduring. But when we choose to deceive, to soften the truth, or to say what others want to hear, we are weakening the very structure of our relationships. Costolo reminds us that people are not fooled by words that are empty or deceptive. They can feel when the truth is being hidden, and the cracks begin to appear in the walls of trust.

The lesson here is clear: to lead with integrity, to earn the trust of others, is not to seek the easy approval of those around us. It is to speak plainly, even when the truth is difficult or uncomfortable. It is to choose transparency over convenience and honesty over flattery. Whether in leadership or in our personal relationships, trust is built not on what we say, but on how we say it, and whether our words align with our actions. The trust we earn from others will be far more valuable than any fleeting approval gained by saying what others want to hear.

So, let us take Costolo’s words to heart. In our own lives, let us choose the path of honesty, even when it is hard. Let us be forthright with those we lead, with those we love, and with ourselves. Trust is the foundation of everything that is meaningful in our lives, and it is earned through clarity, through truth, and through consistent integrity. It is the truth we live by that strengthens the relationships we hold dear, and it is the truth we speak that will ensure those relationships stand the test of time. Choose truth, and in doing so, you will build a legacy of trust that endures through all challenges.